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gremlinraps - remember you (rip grandpa) lyrics

[verse 1]
i still can’t believe that my grandpa died
looking at him as my family cries
him in that hospital bed, i am so lost in my head
and i’m asking why; looking at the sky
i cannot even keep track of time
it’s moving so slow as its p-ssin’ by
i could grab a pair of chopsticks and i can catch a fly
i don’t bat an eye, i’m just standin stiff
eyes are all red like i had a spliff
i’m asking if he ever asked for this
if not, then why’d it get as bad as this?
god, help me understand this sh-t
and i don’t know how, but i want you to answer it
i don’t pray enough, but i’ma pray to you now
why did he only weigh 82 pounds?
say where you were when his kidneys were shutting down
don’t give me the runaround
i really wonder how you let him suffer so much and now we have to bury him underground
i need him alive, i want an appeal
i’m hating how all of this feels
i feel like poppin’ a pill, i think i probably will
i feel like god isn’t real
everyday it’s getting harder to deal, i always cry with the pain
’cause i just stay inside of my brain, but i can’t stay inside of my lane
’cause i’ve been drinking too much, maybe not drinking enough
i’m going crazy just thinking of stuff
i feel like leaving, i feel like screaming
all that i need is his touch

[chorus]
yes, i know ya gone, but no, i don’t want to grieve
because, when i think of you, man, it’s always hard to breathe
i just want to see you now, not just in my memory
promise i’ll remember you ’til the very end of me

[verse 2]
lately, i tend to sleep
i guess it’s because you’re in every dream
i’ll always hold onto the memories
but i’m not happy, it’s hard to pretend to be
and i excessively thought that the doctors were menacing
they gave you such a short life expectancy
but you were so strong, so that’s something i didn’t expect to see
but, grandpa, i thank you for everything
you have no idea what you meant to me
i’m missing your hand on my head
while you sat on my bed and you lectured me about anything
you were so proud about everything, music especially
and, i was so young, but i hope you remember that you started shaping my destiny
’cause you got me pianos and got me guitars, made sure i shot for the stars
taught me to never be weak ’cause it’s not who we are
there is no blood that is stronger than ours’
all of the lessons attained, stored in my memory forever engrained
i want us together again, but i’ve accepted the pain
they will remember the name
i’m working harder for you, doing what i always wanted to do
and when i’m finally holding a grammy
grandpa, it will be offered to you
and to you, god, i’m sorry for actin’ in spite
i was so mad that i had to just fight
and even though he isn’t here anymore, thank you for putting that man in my life

- gremlinraps lyrics

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