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gromit the omlette - certified cool guy lyrics

[intro]
boing, boing
i ain’t even plug in the mic
(laughter)
hold up

woo!
this definitely works
freestyle
yeah, this the freestyle guy
i freestyle
(oddball, oddball)

[verse 1]
my style is free, you can already tell cause i got the gray jeans
this ain’t even jeans, this is a shirt— f+ck
lava lamp, uh
i close my b+lls with a vice clamp
that’s the only reason i was in welding for one year
see, i had a fantasy with torturing myself, i held it dear
maybe i shouldn’t have done that
i crashed into a deer
give me a glass of beer, i’ma drink it all year
it’s gon’ be expired by then, it’s alright though
(clears throat) alright
time to go in on ’em
(clears throat)
[verse 2]
i don’t know why this sounds like morale and the steppers
got them shoes [?]
that ain’t even a word, i watched that one movie, that one with forrest gump
i remember he was moving, he was running down the street, down the sidewalk, down the grass
i ain’t got no grass around here, this sh+t is ass
you look around winnie, it’s wet and dry— f+ck, i just expelled the name of my city, i’ma cut that sh+t out, yuh
yeah, yeah, boing

[verse 3]
bouncing with a man
not bouncing on the man
bouncing on a trampoline, i’m with the man
hanging out with the man
i’ma purchase a white van, and i’ma use it to bounce on more trampolines with this man
i’m assembling all these trampolines, got ’em all in my hands
i also got d+cks— f+ck, i meant i got trampoline lines
i got that iron metal sh+t on that trampoline
i’ma be bouncing, i’ma be like bounce
yeah, sponsored by hubba bubba
alright

[verse 4]
beat speeding up, you can hear it suddenly moving from 125 to 135
that’s about the time, it’s actually 6:38, that’s a little bit later, but that’s okay
i’m fenna count to eight, count to eight in spanish
uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, seite— uh, f+ckin’ ocho
ocho leg, ocho spider, you got them arachnids, got that sh+t wider
i drink a full bottle of dish soap, it’s aight, though
i’m losin’ hope, whether or not i’ll survive this bottle of dish soap
maybe i shouldn’t have drank that, that was kinda antiseptic
i should have seen the poison in my hat
[outro]
see this hat? i actually just got this, uh, like, a year ago
not that that got anything to do with the song, anyways
i didn’t— i rhymed about three words on that sh+t
called it a day (let’s go!)
curb gang, dubtown

- gromit the omlette lyrics

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