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gunther farmer - can't read, can't write lyrics

[verse 1]
when i was a young boy, my father said to me, “oi gunther what you doin’, you can’t keep plantin’ seeds; farmin’s nearly dead, you need to use your ‘ead, why don’t you get some proper work?” and here is what i said…

[chorus]
i can’t read and i can’t write but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er! i can’t sing and i can’t dance but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er!

[verse 2]
my father did resist, he even twist my wrist, he made me try new things, like plumbin’? i tried an office job, it really was a slob, in the end i just gave up. i couldn’t give a parsnip!

daddy was upset, he said he lost a bet, i wish he could see city life ain’t for me. i’m alright on the farm, i sure can’t do no harm to people on the street when i got wellies on my feet!

[chorus]
i can’t read and i can’t write but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er! i can’t sing and i can’t dance but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er!

[verse 3]
some jobs i just can’t do, like scr+pin’ up cow poo, and scr+pin’ up chicken poo, and basically anything to do with poo. i tried to milk a cow, i didn’t quite know how, so i grabbed at her udder and well she kicked me in the face. (moo) i did grow fruit and veg, then a pig broke through the hedge, and ate all my prised sprouts (mmm, bacon.) i did try growin’ wheat, but i was met with defeat, when it turned out to be corn. that’s what you get for watching countryfile and not really payong attention to the job at hand

[chorus]
i can’t read and i can’t write but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er! i can’t sing and i can’t dance but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er!

[verse 4]
i’m fond of grown’ seeds, and cutting fresh veggies. i wish people could see food does grow on trees. farmin’ days are long but we keep goin’ strong. we can’t stay on our feet, ’cause people got to eat

here’s a shout+out to all the farmers, the pig farmers, dairy farmers, all you cereal farmers, the lads and lasses runnin’ silage all hours of the night, those people that grow the chickens for nandos, the fruit farmers, the veg growers, all the por blighters working in the greenhouses in the summer, and every other farmer and farm worker that might be listening to this, or even if you once drove past a farm, this is for you

[chorus x2]
i can’t read and i can’t write but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er! i can’t sing and i can’t dance but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er! (one more time!)

i can’t read and i can’t write but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er! i can’t sing and i can’t dance but that don’t really ma’er, ’cause i come from the countryside and i can drive a tra’er!

[outro]
has anyone seen my tra’er? i think i’ve lost it…

- gunther farmer lyrics

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