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guttermouth - jaimie's petting zoo - live lyrics

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i’ve had my pet
since i was nine years old
i loved him and fed him
kept him out of the cold
but one day he attacked
i knew he didn’t love me back
so i grabbed him like a football
and punted fifty yards

now i hate pets
take yourself to the vet
now i hate pets
dolphins trapped in little nets
now i hate pets
you little f+cking
screaming sh+t+bag
i should of let your mother
eat you, little f+cker

so i got a little birdy
and i trained it everyday
hе knew 1000 words
but then he flеw away
but then i got him back
the f+cker wouldn’t shut his trap
so i took him
rubbed his beak in sh+t
now i hate pets
spotted owls in their nests
now i hate pets
bagged a deer and made a vest
now i hate pets
birds and bees and bears and bison
pigs and parrots and pandas
i f+cking hate them all!!!

i was walking through the park
when a snake peered from his hole
a perfect opportunity
to take the b+st+rd home
i chopped his f+cking head off
with my handy garden hoe
and made a lovely hat+band
for my redneck cousin bo, heee+haaw!

now i hate pets
10,000 volts to the chest
now i hate pets
i fed my cat some cigarettes
now i hate pets
you little f+cking
screaming sh+t+bag
commie b+st+rd
f+ck you, you
f+cking assh0l+ l!cker d+ck sucking f+ckhead

- guttermouth lyrics

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