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gwar - have you seen me? (live) lyrics

[spoken intro]
now i’ve got you alone. it’s just you and me now. and dingo, paromino, bronco, colt, and let’s not forget, carl on drums. so tell me…do you think i am…beautiful? is my -ss…firm and shapely? and what about my fat pr-ck? do you like my fat pr-ck, new york, do you like it?

[overlapping each other]
(oderus:) you dirtied my armored suit!
(beefcake:) how dare you!
(oderus:) it’s dirty now! dirty!
(beefcake:) oh, oderus, please. we won’t play another song until there is complete silence. starting right…now
(oderus:) that’s right, complete silence except for my meaningless, half-baked banter. bl-wj-b, suckjob, suckjob. get off my pr-ck, you f-ckin’ f-g! god d-mn it, this guy just won’t let go! hey!
(beefcake:) silence!
(oderus:) silence! shh! let me just say one thing! i know a lot of your friends got the sh-t kicked out of them tonight, you know
(beefcake:) hey
(oderus:) i’m sorry. you go to see gwar, people die, it’s as natural as rain on a godd-mn sunday morning. but let me tell you one thing. nothing has changed with gwar. nothing…has changed here. we’re still…the wonderful, down-to-earth kinda motherf-ckin’ h-m-s-xual b-tt-rapin’, dog-f-ckin’ kinda motherf-ckers you love. and let me tell you one thing. if any of you guys or any of you girls wanna come backstage after the show, get sucked, f-cked, smoke some crack, it’s okay by me!

now, without any further ado. take it away, guys

a 1, 2, 3, 4
ladies and gentlemen, i’d like to introduce you now to someone very special to me, very special at this time. i’m talkin’ about my crew, man. the crew in the news, the crew that kicks -ss every night and baby, you gotta have it your way, not another crew. let’s hear it for my crew

hey, get your hands off him
ladies and gentlemen, my boyfriend…hhiiimmmmm

[verse 1]
mommies
i’ve been stealing your babies
i gag the brat and then maybe
i’ll suck out his brain!
dead kids
are making me feel almost hard
i go get one from the school yard
he bled like a stuck pig!

[chorus]
have you seen me?
have you seen me?
have you seen me?
me
have you seen me?
(have you seen me?) nooo…

[verse 2]
suckle
my bloated love knuckle
just like fatty arbuckle
i’m g-y and i’m proud!
that’s right, i’m a f-ggot
and a corpse full of maggots
i wanna blow c-m not bag it
godd-mnit i’m h-rny!

come on, everybody!

[chorus]
have you seen me?
have you seen me?
have you seen me?
me
have you seen me?
(have you seen me?) ahhhh!

[break]
it’s just a dead child
an object i’ve defiled
yes i know it’s wrong

okay, i’ll spare your life

so! so!
so! so!
so! so!
whoaaa!

[french gibberish]

it’s just a dead child
an object i’ve defiled
yes i know it’s wrong
godd-mnit, get that girl off the stage!
your mom
my mom
your wha–reid fleming, world’s toughest milk man!

so! so!
so! so!
so! so!
so! so!

[chorus]
have you seen me?
have you seen me?
have you motherf-cking seen me?
have you seen me?
have you seen me?
me
have you seen me?

[the argument, spoken]
(beefcake:) oderus…i really think that what you’re doing is wrong
(oderus:) come on, r-ride the little pony, heheh
(balsac:) no, i gotta agree with beefcake on this, oderus
(oderus:) what?
(balsac:) this is wrong, man. this is f-cked up!
(beefcake:) this is too much. this is too much. i’ve seen a lotta thi–
(oderus:) what the f-ck are you talki–you guys, you guys are in my band, you’re my buddies, man! you back me–
(balsac:) no, no, we backed you before, man. we backed you when you f-cked the quad chick
(beefcake:) we fuc–we backed you, you know, but…
(balsac:) and we backed you when you f-ckin’…rammed the spear up the cop’s -ss
(oderus:) now hold on, f-ck, you’re f-ckin’ talking at once!
(balsac:) man, this is a f-ckin’ child!
[all three stammer]
(beefcake:) this is too much
(oderus:) why don’t you f-ckin’–
(balsac:) this is a child, man! have you no morals? have you no–
(beefcake:) i know, i know you say he’s 18 years old…
(oderus:) will you shut up?
(beefcake:) he is not 18 years old
(oderus:) this kid is f-ckin’ 18 years old!
(beefcake:) no he is not
(balsac:) no way, no f-ckin’ way
(oderus:) besides, i happen to know the law here in cananananadada. and i happen to know that’s it’s not rape if it’s dead!
(balsac:) i can’t buy that, i can’t buy that, i mean…
(beefcake:) well maybe i was, i was too hasty
(balsac:) have you no morals? have you no sense of decency? have you seen…
(oderus:) me!

[outro]
s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sated!
now that i’ve m-st-rb-t-d
i’m in love and i’m hated
i don’t follow the crowd
but i said you
i said your covered in vile spew
my filthy chunks is all over you
my filthy filthy filthy chunks
my filthy filthy filthy
oh! ohhh!

(oderus, balsac, and beefcake yell out intelligible thank-yous)

(and when the sun, it turns to snow
and the gr-ss doesn’t grow
don’t laugh, i love you)

- gwar lyrics

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