goreshack – monsterbation lyrics
[thor] i’m alone in the dark
with a horror movie on a friday night
it’s nearing the shower scene
and my shorts don’t feel right
is it a tiny monster? or an alien with a chain?
a flesh eating worm? no, it’s just my stiff w-ng
i’m up all night with rhonda
that sl-t that’s on the tube
the slasher flicks she shows
are the only way i get to scope b–bs
it’s 3 am and i’m laying, jerking in my bed
hanging with my buddies freddy, jason, and pinhead
this frantic masturbation isn’t easy to explain
most normal people would find it either morbid or lame
but the chicks i dig, the ones that do it for me
[thor and darren]are the ones with their t-ts out just
before they get cleaved
[thor and darren] this is my addiction but it’s not
really that bad
i just beat off to movies where naked chicks get sawed
in half
it’s late on the weekend, i can’t avoid the temptation
it’s time for another round of what i call
monsterbation
the constant screaming gore makes the girl who’s
visiting sick
the blob’s not what we’re watching, but what’s coming
out of my d-ck
[thor and darren] this is my addiction but it’s not
really that bad
i just beat off to movies where naked chicks get sawed
in half
it’s late on the weekend, i can’t avoid the temptation
it’s time for another round of what i call
monsterbation
[dialog]
[darren]: hey man, what’s going on?
[justin]: uh, uh, not much man!
[darren]: man what the f-ck, are you beating off to the
channel 9 movie again?
[justin]: yeah, so what!
[darren]: man you better stop that sh-t or something
f-cked up’s gonna happen!
[justin]: bullsh-t! now stop trying to call me when you
know i’m jerkin off, b-ttmunch!
[thor] then something awkward happened my last time
whacking off
[darren] my skin it cracked and split and well, it
started falling off
[thor] i started moaning like a ‘tard, what was
happening to me?!
[thor and darren] i guess all that monsterbation turned
me into a zombie
f-ck yeah monsterbation!
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