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half man half biscuit - d'you ken ted mould? lyrics

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our ted, it has to be said,
produces proof beyond us.
rain, shine, or gale force 9,
his frames remain intact.
helicopters in my garden
bringing wind? i beg your pardon?
double glazing is amazing,
don’t you all agree?

no fears, they’ll last you for years,
our statistics prove it,
and you’ll pose when everyone knows
it’s you who sets the pace.
on the cold and frosty morning,
scoff and howl at yuletide warnings
insulation for the nation.
that’s the one for me!

no draft, ’cause that would be daft,
a feather acknowledges newton.
and ball and chain let loose on your pane
can only smash your nerves.
in the hibernating season
fit the best, it stands to reason!
no complaining when it’s raining.
thanks to mr moult- wahey!



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