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half man half biscuit - fuckin' 'ell it's fred titmus lyrics

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oh i was walking round my local store
searching for the ten pence off lenor
when suddenly i b-mped into this guy
on seeing who it was i gave a cry
“f-ckin’ ‘ell, it’s fred t-tmus!”

oh jane was pushing baby round the park
when all at once she saw her husband mark
well he was with a man down by the stream
so jane and baby both began to scream
“f-ckin’ ‘ell, it’s fred t-tmus!”

oh as the train pulled into platform three
i looked around for my best girl to see
as she disembarked but i didn’t seem to care
‘cos someone p-ssed that made me stop and stare

oh dracula comes from transylvania
stevie nicks books about kleptomania
johnny looked out of his bedroom window
and shouted to his mum “fred t-tmus!”

- half man half biscuit lyrics

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