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hannah andron - the smells of my gashole lyrics

[verse 1: hannah andron]
it all started in 2008, back then i was a featherweight
asked out on many dates
in lines and queues, i’d never wait
the shape of my b-tt and the size of my breastplate
made nerdy f-ggots quiver and go home to m-st-rbate
but sh-t got good when i met matt lewis
whose b-lls were unused and were turning bluish
in attracting women, the f-g was clueless
he was skinny and twitchy and a total doofus
he knew to ask me out would be plain foolish
but the sight of my feet just raced his fluids
he finally got up the b-lls to do this
asked me out and i said screw this
i’d taken his sweetest dreams and ruined it
every single night he would dream of us doing it
came back with an offer and i couldn’t refuse it
and the offer he had that i couldn’t refuse is
he’d pay 500 dollars to lick my feet
and i said, “f-ggot, don’t you be no jewess
you’d pay that much just to drink my mucus”
so the price got raised to 1.5 k
but for an hour that f-ggot was on a field day
lickin’ and a-kissin’ and a-slobberin’ away
he jizzed like a fountain without delay
i decided that my -ss could make me bigger bucks
it’s four thou for a smother, five thou for a suck
i truly saw the desperation of a h-rny cuck
and now i’m rich as a b-tch from you h-rny f-cks

[chorus: hannah and emily andron]
consider me the queen in the highest castle
loving me is rough but it’s worth the h-ssle
especially considering the smells of my gashole
wouldn’t it excite you to lick my -ssh0l-?

[interlude: matthew cameron lewis]
emily rose and hannah lillian andron are perfect in every way
and the sh-t beneath their shoes is better than i am
i am nothing compared to them and i am willing to die for their sweet, succulent -sses
i am a b-tch, i am a f-ggot, and i am a h-rny little loser
unworthy of smelling the air they fart in
i am nothing

[verse 2: hannah andron]
now, let’s touch on all the reasons why my -ss is the best
it’s ‘cause my -ss don’t stop to let your backbone rest
it puts the strength and your power up to the test
and then it drops with heft in a plop to your chest
and to pay for this sh-t, you must be depressed
i can’t imagine all the ghosts by which you’re possessed
but i don’t give it much thought though, i must confess
it doesn’t cross my mind while i’m getting undressed
‘cause you just paid me 60 thou to see my naked br–sts
you see my pretty t-tties wiggling and you’re so impressed
that your hopes and desires can’t be suppressed
you give me 30 thou more for a brutal slugfest
in which i f-cked you up worse as time progressed
‘til you look like you went out to the f-cking wild west
next time you beg for this sh-t, you might wanna re-ssess
since i just broke your ribs and made you bleed but i digress
you swear you’re leaving me now and you’re done but you regress
while there’s food in my stomach i’m having trouble to digest
you’re ‘bout to get some more from the -ss of which you obsess
pull down my pants, sh-t all over, stink it up, and just make a mess
you see it and it brings you such a joy you can’t express
it costs over 100 thousand but you can’t seem to convalesce
so when i ask you if you wanna eat it up, you bet it’s a “yes”
there are plenty of girls who’d let you eat their sh-t for something less
but you know that mine’s the greatest so you pay more nonetheless
and even afterwards, you still go and shower me in largesse
so i live with more than a surplus, words can’t describe my excess
and even though you just wasted thousands on my -ss’s caress
you shouldn’t feel it’s money wasted, you shouldn’t feel it distress
you’re a scrawny, ugly f-ggot so i think we can acquiesce
that the fact that you got to so much as eat my sh-t means you’re blessed

[chorus: hannah and emily andron]

[interlude: emily andron and matthew cameron lewis]
emily: you f-cking pathetic–ss g-y-boy!
you do realize that paying for my -ss to sit on your face is the closest you’re ever going to get to a girl?
matthew: i know, mistress
emily: you’re willing to live as my slave in a cage with a bunch of other men because you love me so much. do you realize how f-cking pathetic that sh-t is?
matthew: yes, mistress
emily: oh, by the way, i need some money for my date with my boyfriend. i’m going to take it out of your bank account. you don’t mind, do ya?
matthew: not at all, mistress
emily: perfect! have fun rotting in this cage with the other slaves, loser-boy! ha, ha, ha!

[verse 3: hannah andron]
i just ate seven burgers, a large fry, and drank a c0ke
so you know that in about ten minutes, my -ss gon’ be blowin’ smoke
so i’ll sit on your face fartin’, you’ll start inhalin’ as you start to choke
even if you’re throwing away money and going broke, you still love it
you salvage each and every f-cking split second of this sh-t
no matter how blue or purple you turn, you ain’t gon’ submit
though you’re a f-g, you ain’t a quitter, you’ll stick to a task to which you commit
so my -ss’ll stay there ‘til you go unconscious from it
and even with your airless body growing stiffer under my bottom
i’ll continue to sit there, you’re already forgotten
i ain’t unfamiliar with this slaving business, i do it often
i’ve been known to whip a n-gga while he goes and picks my cotton
a stank, brutal b-tch i am and so’s emily
but even though it’s dangerous you’ll take it all readily
you were put on earth to be a slave, it’s part of your ident-ty
it hurts like h-ll, it’s deadly, but still for you, it’s heavenly
you won’t forget the -sses of the andron sisters
probably ‘cause you’re still hurtin’ from the cuts and blisters
payin’ 47 thou for testicular twister
could you be any more pathetic, mister?
and can i even call you that, shouldn’t i call you ma’am?
after you paid a f-ckin’ fortune to be sat on by our hams?
and you spend all of your hours in a cage with my other fans
don’t humor me, you pitiful f-ggot, you’re not a man
but don’tcha let my words discourage you from payin’ for more sessions
this -ss-torture and sitting sh-t, it is my profession
but i don’t need you ‘cause i’ve got a thousand others with an obsession
they like my -ss fullweight on their face, i guess they dig the compression
they like the smell of my flatulence and the taste of my indigestion
even though i can’t remember the last time my -ss re-freshened
i can’t blame ‘em since emily and i are literal perfection
but if you wanna see my sh-t in action, i advise viewer discretion

- hannah andron lyrics

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