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haych - [fien] lyrics

[intro]
“i don’t know if i would
necessarily say it’s a portrait of me
but i also don’t know if like, y’know
if i could say it’s really not a portrait of me
coz i feel like, in some way
y’know all drawings are
sort of a portrait of like
my mind and like what i’m thinking and
my ideas which i feel like is more
accurate portrayal of a person than
what they look like
so who knows?
y’know i’m sure i could classify it as that
if i wanted to
but it doesn’t really look like me
right now it looks like, i mean it looks like a shape”

this isn’t what i wanted
this isn’t who i am
can i be the boy in the corner
not the b+tch who relapsed?

[verse 1]
no way, are my bones tight?
wanna be the other one within no time
that’s fine (no it’s not)
have blurry nights
in+, fight, +side, like
burn ’em when they get too bright
like i’m climbing a mountain with no height
(no height, no height, no height, no height)
tell them when i’m done
but i’m not done ’till i look different
changing, replacing
my wardrobe hates me
that’s what i wanna be but i can’t face it
[pre+chorus]
not what you wanted
not what you need
can’t be what you wanted
‘ever just a freak

(f+ck you, f+ck this
everything punk sh+t)

crippling real fast
torn brain, top that
don’t you dare relax
mei, you just climaxed

[chorus]
k!ll us everyday
when we don’t and we can’t ever fit in
when i wanna be something else
lead someone’s short life
and never look the other way
ooooooooo
do you feel it now?
that sense of doubt
is it real? is it fake?
double+take
could i make this mistake?
and never look the other way
[post+chorus]
not what you wanted
not what you need
(k+)

[verse 2]
jesus f+cking christ
holy sh+t, i’m going wild
half+a+thousand monthly listeners
from me, myself and i
that’s wild
(thank you, no really thank you)

i was lost, now i’m found
making bangers like this
joan, i hope i make you proud
i hope i make it big
buy my grandad anything
he’s the reason i do it
and all my lifetime friends and millie
always do it for my family

[bridge]
(f+ck yeah)
that’s what i need to stay alive
do this for everyone who’s by my side
soon i’ll have to come down from this high
but i hope i leave a legecy that you can’t f+ck with when i die
[pre+chorus]
not what you wanted
not what you need
can’t be what you wanted
‘ever just a freak

(f+ck you, f+ck this
everything punk sh+t)

crippling real fast
torn brain, top that
don’t you dare relax
mei, you just climaxed

k!ll us everyday
when we don’t and we can’t ever fit in
when i wanna be something else
lead someone’s short life
or never look the other way
ooooooooo
do you feel it now?
that sense of doubt
is it real? is it fake?
double+take
could i make this mistake?
and never look the other way

[outro]
(never look the other way)
(yeah)
(never look the other way)

“but it doesn’t really look like me
right now it looks like, i mean it looks like a shape
but it is still weird
because even though
i wouldn’t necessarily consider this like
a portrait of me
it does still feel like
kinda personalble
or personal
whichever one of those is correct
maybe if they’re both correct, that’s great
but it does feel personal and like
i’m almost exposig myself in some ways
and maybe i am
and maybe it just feels weird because
i don’t even fully know what i’m exposing completely
or maybe it’s because i have no real good reason
for anything i drew in here
or really anything i do

- haych lyrics

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