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headache (plz) - the party that never ends lyrics

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[verse]
when i was five years old i fell off a boat in my godmother’s lake
because i was holding onto the rail too hard
my older sister says i was underwater for only enough time to just about avoid death by drowning
but i remember sinking all the way down to the bottom
where i saw creatures i still don’t recognize to this day
some of them spoke to me
i don’t think i was the same thing i was before by the time they pulled me out
but maybe that’s not such a bad thing
i’ve rеalized recently that it doеsn’t really matter
i’ve been running for a long, long time
for years
i know i can’t find what i’m looking for
and i’ve wasted so much time
but i don’t regret a thing
i’ve changed
i’ve done so much, seen so much
i’ve slept weeping, and weeping i’ve waked
tears like you wouldn’t believe
but laughter too
so much laughter
so much love
i thought my body was different
i thought i could never die
but now i know
i know the truth
my head hurts but i know the truth
i know that love is the only thought
and pain is the only feeling
and i’m ready to dance
i don’t know what happened to me
but i don’t really care anymore
one day i was asleep
another awake
so what?
all i’ve ever wanted was to move to the music
to be at a party that never ended
they used to chase me with hammers down the street
boohoo, right?
but i’m okay
i would have liked to lose it all with you
i would have liked to lose myself
lose myself the way i used to long ago
back when i still had some life left in me
i would close my eyes and be in a great big forest
or on an empty beach at sunrise
or in some strange and beautiful city
it’s night time but the birds are singing
the streets are dead but they look great in the moonlight
and i’m just walking along them
i’m looking for something to love but it’s not that big a deal
it’s raining
but i’m all right
i’m just walking
i’m ready
i’m ready to move
[outro]
i’ll always love you
but i’ve got to go now
they’re all waiting for me
it’s been real
goodbye



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