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headcase - lunatic fringe lyrics

[intro]
“the worst thing to call somebody is ‘crazy.’ it’s dismissive
‘i don’t understand this person, so they’re crazy.’ that’s bullsh-t
cause these people are not crazy, they’re strong people
maybe their environment is a little sick.”

[verse one]
the pain in my eyes reflects off of the looking gl-ss
i’m just another problem child with a crooked past
if i had a moment of joy, i knew it wouldn’t last
i guess happiness is something that i just couldn’t grasp
ever since adolescence, i’ve been an emotional wreck
suffering from constant panic attacks, holding my chest
and my peers couldn’t understand my anguish
cause to them, describing it was like speaking a foreign language
when i told them how i felt, they’d say to just get over it
and hearing that for years on end has made me an emotionless
manic depressive with sociopathic tendencies
who grew tired of praying for peace of mind on bended knees
even my mother asks why i can’t think positive
i’ve been through so much that i’m used to feeling ominous
its been hard for me to hold my anger
since i saw my dad in handcuffs on the front page of the local paper
and from the community, my family was ostracized
perhaps that was the day that i truly lost my mind
now i’m travis bickle with bad ideas in my head
dreaming of ultraviolence, seeing all those people dead
it’s like i’m face-to-face with a different person entirely
who suffered quietly when he was shunned by society
now after all these years, anxiety has left me unhinged
this is the life of the lunatic fringe

[chorus]
how does it feel, to live on needles and pins?
all ever i want is to be safe in my own skin
it is my atonement for all of my countless sins
this is the life of the lunatic fringe

[verse two]
i never wanted this insanity to define me
but no matter what i do, it is the chain that binds me
my insecurities are like a virus, eagerly eating me
i can’t remember the last person who treated me decently
i’m hearing voices in the room when i’m all alone
and now this mental institution, i call it home
there’s dark rings under my eyes from sleep deprivation
and the doctors tell me that i need medication
music used to be my coping mechanism
it soothed the savage beast when i was overwrought with pessimism
it provided an escape for me since i was stuck in h-ll
its my only talent, i ain’t qualified to do nothing else
but since my mind has been torn asunder
the only p-ssion i had no longer brings me comfort
now it just drives me to drink, much to my disdain
throwin’ shots of c-ke and vodka to help me hide the pain
you wanna know the reason i’m writing this?
it’s cause through it all, i’m still seeking enlightenment
searching for the path that’s leading to righteousness
hoping that i might have a chance against these demons i’m fighting with
but the road to h-ll is paved with innocent intentions
and god ain’t splitting hairs, as if i didn’t mention
but its alright, i’m used to being scrutinized
if i know my fate, why don’t i just commit suicide?!
my clarity is a curse, preparing me for the worst
i know i’ll be forgotten when they bury me in the dirt
but until then, i’ll be forever fighting my own war
cause my sins are too heavy for me to ever atone for

[chorus] 2x

[outro]
“you right… i am crazy
but you know what else? i don’t give a f-ck!”

- headcase lyrics

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