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heesun lee - lap lyrics

(verse 1)
i was born into a life without a mother
any time i talk about her then i stutter
she gave birth to me but not like any other
left me right away, i never had a chance to love her
im crying every night lookin for her face
lookin for a trace of her, must be in the wrong place
now ill never know my own race, the pains comin
i wasn’t asked to be born incase u tryna prove suttin
this ain’t even fair, i never had a chance
u made ur mind up before u gave a 2nd glance
now im laying here staring at the ceiling
the pain that im feeling, a newborn baby, that already needs healing
,….im gonna close my eyes now and think of where you at
i day dream of the life we coulda had if u held me in ur arms
and placed me in your…lap

(hook)
it’s not how it seems
i love you endlessly
i’m sorry i couldn’t fight this

gotta try and find
my own peace of mind
no matter what you do
i’m right here with you
hold me
know me
hold me hold me hold me right here, i’m right here with you

(verse 2)
i used to rub my belly everyday n think about you
9 months of my life i didn’t live without you
you was all of me, and i was all of you
but poverty was all around me, it was all i knew
all i do is think about it, call for u
but u deserve a better life wish i can give it all to u
…i’m crying every night
no matter what im going through, to give you up, was never right
me ahn hae, ee mal haessuh
life is hard and im sorry that i couldn’t fight this
uh duck ae, wae, ee-luh-kae- gga jee dwetjee
to leave my daughter hanging, its the worst thing imagined
geu lae doe, hang sang heng boh ka-geel kee doe hae
i still close my eyes now and think of where you at
i daydream that i held you in my arms so i keep looking down
wishin you were in my… lap

(hook)
it’s not how it seems
i love you endlessly
i’m sorry i couldn’t fight this

gotta try and find
my own peace of mind
no matter what you do
i’m right here with you
hold me
know me
hold me hold me hold me right here, i’m right here with you

(verse 3)
the doctor told me the worst news ever
the chance for me to have my own child, is never
never ever, never ever get to hold you tightly
this might b, the hardest thing thats ever tried to fight me
lookin in the mirror thinkin life is tryna spite me..
slightly losing it, the doctor said politely theres hope tho
im lookin all around, wheres it at, man i dont know
my husband tried to grab me, i said i won’t go, im not leavin
till i get some better news
till the doctor says i can have a child if i choose
to love and care for, thats what a mothers there for
he said adoption can bring my hope back
another baby out there can meet me where im at
i’ll daydream about it thinking i can have a child to hold in my arms forever in my… lap

(hook to end)
its not how it seems
i love you endlessly
i’m sorry i couldn’t fight this

gotta try and find
my own peace of mind
baby can’t u see
you’re a mystery

hold me in your lap
but meet me where i’m at
no matter what u do
i’m right here w u
hold me
know me
hold me hold me hold me right here
i’m right here with you
know me know me know me right here, i’m right there w u
love me love me love me
right now

- heesun lee lyrics

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