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hefallsasleep - my story lyrics

i take a long look at my story
man, it’s kind of gory
my trauma got me forgetting things like i’m dory
repressive memories coming up, man, oh no
like, that really happened
i got up on this mic, and then i started snapping
i’m learning to drive the boat because i am the captain

ayo, i took the aces quiz and got a 10 out of 10
i was called weird in high school, and i didn’t have many friends

but man

at this moment in time, i’m feeling blessed
i’m speaking with my chest out
yes, i do get stressed out
yes, i do get about to claim, and they’re the best now
bеcause from this perspectivе, man, your message is messy
throughout my trials and tribulations, only god can test me
the universe is on my side, i’ll say it again
no stagnation
i’m trusting in the power of my own imagination

sometimes i do wake up and want to change the nation
i think it’s time to acknowledge and go back to basics
i think it’s time that we normalize healthy relations
i think it’s time to have a conversation
i think it’s time to be vulnerable
see a hater and still hope that their bucket is full
three questions: how did you sleep, did you drink water, and have you eaten breakfast?
i know without those three, i cannot accept a message
if i don’t take care of me, then how will i accept the lessons?
if i don’t stick to routines, then how will i accept my blessings?
if i do not use my tools, then how will i be great?
if i do not go to therapy, then how will i be sane?
didn’t like the path, so i created my own lane

i remember when

i was ashamed of my last name
because the folks who shared mine did not make wise choices
they hurt people and didn’t stick up for the voiceless

so i ran away
and ran away
and ran away
and ran away

because i knew something had to be different
because i knew there was something more to this existence
because i knew that i could find adults who actually listen
because i knew when i went to school, mr. randolph was going to wash my clothes
shout out to ms. winterberg, she was the nicest
she did not get mad when she saw me sleeping
she was concerned
throughout my education, see, that’s something i’ve learned
all right, big dog, spit it raw, tell me who it was
i see that you’re suffering, homie, you just need a hug
rewrite the definition of a thug
i want to rewrite the definition of a black man
do the best i can
optimistic and persistent in seeking to understand

i remember when my thoughts used to fall upon my conscience, see
education is elevation, shout out conscious lee

i’m on, uh
never gonna stop, uh
taking back what is mine, so watch how i rock
really need y’all to get off of my (bumper)
it’s time to let the dude who falls asleep
i’ll wake you from your slumber
+n+lyzing habits and crunching the numbers

you know i’m relinquishing the doubt
screaming that i got this
replace the c+cky with confidence
i refuse to go back
to thinking that i’m not him
to thinking that i’m not cold
to thinking that i haven’t beat the odds
like i’m not really out here inspiring the next generation
i had to put this on the track and cement it like pavements
to tell these little black and brown boys and girls that they’re always on the verge of greatness
always on the verge of greatness

i am great
i’m important
gone are the days
where i don’t think i am the best
i believe it in my heart
and i feel it in my chest
everything is going to be okay
okay
okay

- hefallsasleep lyrics

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