helios (rap) - march 22 lyrics
track 7 of animus session: the dead of winter
note: the music is the landscape of my mind. it’s not always structured: our thoughts rarely are, especially considering how unstable i was
lyrics
verse 1
i woke up that morning with a stuffy nose, red puffy eyes
dusky skies, looked out my window and i swore it must be five!
jumped right out of bed, god, please let it be a snow day
don’t take me to that pla-cé where my talent is a throwaway
i rap so good, serve soulfood
so petals just gotta go global
it gets that shine, i’ll get signed
and tour the world as a rap mogul
bout my parents, i’m sure they’d have to come around
when they see their first born son out there making a whole nation proud
yeah, these are my dreams that some might call naïve
but what makes them unreal keeps my boots in concrete
grounded paradoxically, it all tends to balance out
like the sun with the moon with the stars, you pull the cameras out!
flash and flash, i’m attracted to the bright lights
the highlife as i rush to my bus, it’s all that keeps my eyes wide
like a moth attracted to flame, i’m intrigued by the chance of fame
just hoping i don’t get burned as i strive to make my own name
interlude:
and yes indeed, you will be…
popular! you are going to be popular!
i’ll teach you the proper poise,
when you talk to boys,
little ways to flirt & flounce, ooh!
i’ll show you what-
twas upon a time there was a boy who died,
lived happily ever after…
but that’s another chapter,
live from
home of the brave with dirty dollars,
beauty parlors, baby bottles and bowling ball impalas,
and street scholars majoring in culinary arts,
you know how to work bread, cheese & dough,
from scratch, but see the catch is you can get caught,
know what ya sellin’ what ya bought so cut that big talk,
let’s walk to the bridge now meet me halfway
now you may see some children dead off in the pathway
it’s them poor babies walkin’ slowly to the candy lady
it’s lookin’ bad need some…
it’s like going to heaven and finding god smoking crack!
revolution! revolution!
three thefts…hidden by the murders…
people only see what they’re trained to see
what the organization wants them to see…
noone cares for you a smidge
when you’re in an orphanage
it’s a hard knock life!
it is around us! signs and paintings…
faces. doc-ments. but…
but we don’t see it. see…
we are…hehe…we are blind to our own creation
you’re gonna clean this dump!
till it shines like the top of the chrysler building!
listen! why do we have these gifts?! these abilities?!
because! it’s in. our blood!!!!
yank the whiskers from her chin!
jab her with a safety pin!
make her drink a mickey finn!
revolution!
revolution!!!
verse 2
i came home that day… p-ssed on, in no mood to play!
with a headache, i’d faced my first day of ever being detained!
i’d mistakenly skipped a cl-ss, i just cannot seem to p-ss!
and i don’t mean to be cr-ss, but f-ck ap calc and stats!
i hate my life: different days but it’s the same ol’ path!
with bullsh-t grades, would you believe i was a whiz at math?
it all falls apart, nothing is going as it should!
petals won’t even go wood, my mother looks at me like a fool!
just like that brat who spat on his mom
caused her so much pain now today she’s gone
i think he’s my uncle, yep he’s the one
who blazed the lane that i unwillingly run!
and knowing all of this, how could i ever break the news?
that even with as in everything else, i still might not graduate school?
it’d break ma’s heart
that’s a fact. i can’t afford to play that part
so in rhyme, i drown my cries, makes it much easier to dodge and dart
the pr-cks of my conscience, as i strive to make some sense
of this mess, this nonsense, while still smiling in front of friends
gosh, i really need to unwind
maybe record some lines, that always makes me feel alright…
but no dice, roll fail, mom rained on my parade
a one-sided debate, and i walk away delayed
one song less, back to stress-
god i could really use your help!
as i sob quietly to myself, on the day of my birth!
it’s been 17 years yet what have i really learned?!
finally i can say what i’ve meant to all verse:
happy birthday!
——————————————————-
i don’t know what’s happening to me…i’ve been in the machine
they keep putting me back in
and i am losing control!
it’s all blurring together
——————————————————–
i’m holding a rifle…gettysburg is in the distance…
i just stabbed a man and there is blood on my waistcoat!
i’m at the opera…the soprano is so beautiful…
i’m in bed with her… she cries as i f-ck her
i’m speaking at the forum…noone listens!
my mind is gone…
just give me something…give me something good!
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