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henry phillips - girlfriend lyrics

[spoken intro]
oh, thank you
this is a brand new song
it’s a little bit more uptempo
the kind you can dance to it a little bit, i guess
but don’t, ’cause that’ll make everybody uncomfortable
it’s called “i really, really need to get a girlfriend”

[verse 1]
i gotta get a girlfriend
i gotta get a girlfriend
(is it getting catchy yet?)
(i’m trying to sell this to, uh, justin timberlake or something, but i haven’t…)
i gotta get new clothes
so i can get a girlfriend
i gotta start clippin’ my toes
so i can get a girlfriend
stop pickin’ my nose
so i can get a girlfriend
stop wearing pantyhose
so i can get a girlfriend
girlfriend

[verse 2]
i’m even willing to pay
some girl to say that she’s my girlfriend
’cause all my friends think i’m g+y
’cause i never have a girlfriend
i’d buy flowers every day
for my girlfriend
i wouldn’t be like o.j
and k!ll my girlfriend
girlfriend
[verse 3]
(this is for the musicians out there, watch this)
i just changed the key
so i can get a girlfriend
start having s+x for free
with my girlfriend
she can even have vd
and still be my girlfriend
it might hurt when i pee
but at least i’d have a girlfriend
girlfriend

[bridge]
(and this is kind of the bridge part here, which sort of breaks it off a little)
(f+ck you guys)
we could sit around and do crazy sh+t together like
i could pull her ears out and say
“hey, look everybody, it’s dumbo!”, and she’d be all like
“who the f+ck are you and how’d you get into my house?”
(alright)

[verse 4]
how low do i have to sink
to get me a girlfriend?
i could put something in her drink
and she could be my girlfriend
but then they’d put me in the clink
and i’d be someone else’s girlfriend
girlfriend
girlfriend
[spoken outro]
oh, thank you

- henry phillips lyrics

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