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holding absence - these new dreams lyrics

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i sat still where no one could see me
eden had no holes
yeah, it was easy to keep yourself preoccupied
i said i’d meet you over the border
we could sit there, safely, in order, and keep ourselves preoccupied

there was a place that i had always wanted to go
and with your hand in mine, i thought i was there already

but these new dreams
they keep me up
i’m ashamed of all the things i’ve felt
i’m trying to absolve myself
and i’ve been holding
onto burdens
that weigh a ton and burn my flesh
i’m trying to absolve myself

it’s true that
every beautiful fruit is forbidden
you only showed your colors once bitten
so, how was i supposed to know?
now i spend my time in the wreckage
every day i sit and fantasize about a life

in the place that i had always wanted to go
empty+handed; i thought i was there already
but these new dreams
they keep me up
i’m ashamed of all the things i’ve felt
i’m trying to absolve myself
and i’ve been holding
onto burdens
that weigh a ton and burn my flesh
i’m trying to absolve myself

but just like the moons of mars, maybe we were doomed to fall apart (to fall apart)
sometimes you have to k!ll your darlings, even if they come back to haunt your heart (haunt your heart)
but just like the moons of mars, maybe we were doomed to fall apart (to fall apart)

these new dreams
they keep me up
i’m ashamed of all the things i’ve felt
i’m trying to absolve myself
and i’ve been holding
onto burdens
that weigh a ton and burn my flesh
i’m trying to absolve myself

maybe we were doomed to fall apart
i’m learning to absolve myself

- holding absence lyrics

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