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home at last - ache lyrics

what does it mean to be a man?
what does it mean to be content?
what does it feel like to be in heaven?
what does it feel like to not feel a thing?
i don’t see the same world that i used to see
i’m only half the man that i used to be

i am bleeding
i am clean
i am dying
i am peace
i am shackled
i am free
i am hopeful
i am bleak

how can i be a dreamer when i can’t sleep?
so am i the roots or am i the leaves?

and i ache for a taste that’s bittersweet, knowing you’d never ache for me

because i’m worn down but not quite weathered and i’m choking on my words enough to keep my tongue tethered because for far too long i’ve been addicted to my apathy
vapid and vacant and too distant from where i’m supposed to be
because the last four years have been a rollercoaster on an incessant downwards trajectory, heading directly towards a dead end
but maybe one day i’ll find the strength to climb back uphill and get back to the old me again

- home at last lyrics

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