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home seeker - i only have myself to blame lyrics

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am i really so alone
or is my mind playing tricks on me
is it all just in my head or can you see it too
depressed and anxious scared to sleeplessness
i can see the disappointment in my own reflection

i’ll force a smile as i wrestle with thoughts of dying
just to keep you satisfied
just to keep you calm
i’ll bite my tongue to stifle my screams until i taste the blood
i’m losing faith in a better tomorrow
if you said my life would end today i would finally smile

i tried to save my elf
i was in too far deep
i tried to hide my screams
end of the rope is in my reach

i tried to save myself
but i failed to calm my mind
i couldn’t deal with the mental strain
i’d give my life to end this pain

so stuck in seclusion
i pushed everyone away
my insecurities my only company
i lost my hope when i lost my sense of worth
i found solace in self destruction
i’ll let my soul burn

i tried to save myself
i was in too far deep
i tried to hide my screams
end of the rope is in my reach

i tried to save myself
but i failed to calm my mind
i couldn’t deal with the mental strain
i’d give my life to end this pain

i only have myself to blame
i lie awake at night
praying to fade away
no one will ever love me
i can’t face the world on my own
i’m wilting away day by day watch me decay
i’ll die alone, i’ll die alone
i only have myself to blame

- home seeker lyrics

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