horrible histories - charles dickens lyrics
i lived a happy life ‘til i was ten years old
when debt landed dad in prison and our country house
was sold
lodged with a lady in her london flat so cold
worked at a good polish factory, labelling jars quite
dull be told
goodness only knows
i was a miserable soul
for a time i went to school but then i found a job
as a clerk to a lawyer, oh it made my poor head throb
i failed to be an actor, despite my loud gob
ended up reporting speeches of the parliamentary mob
then as everybody knows
i started writing pros
put my life into my books
friends and enemies and crooks
legal bosses of the crop
in “the old curiosity shop”
f-gin in “oliver twist”
a factory pal, you get the gist
and although my memory’s quite foggy
got scrooge from the grave of ebenezer scroggy
my first book was an overnight sensation
but i drove myself too hard to enjoy the agilation
despite my wealth, my family begged for money
i wrote of it in “chuzzlewit” which people said was
funny
didn’t sell like books before
my family still asked for more
“little dorrit” is a tale
about my dad in debtor’s jail
while “hard times” tells my life ‘bout
when i tried to leave my wife
“little nell’s” here was my poor dear
departed sister-in-law
and “david copperfield”, working in a factory
i must confess that that was really me
in my life, felt shamed ‘bout poverty in childhood
wrote about sadness, suffering and fears
also wrote about people with funny names
b-mble, smallweed, scrooge, uriah heep
and wackford squeers
whilst writing “edwin drood”
train crashed in, helped my mood
still i drove myself on
with readings far across the pond
died before i wrote drood’s end
something drove me ‘round the bend
so d-ckens, take a d-ckens, take a bow
and heaven knows
i’m miserable now
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