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horrible histories - real live cowboys lyrics

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[cowboy 1 (willbond)]
(spoken) howdy. you know what you need to be a genuine cowboy? cows. you ain’t herding cattle, you ain’t no cowboy

well i’m a real live cowboy
just a quiet, humble fella

[cowboy 2 (martello-white)]
that’s what we’re like, apart from mike

[cowboy mike (rickard)]
yeah, i’m more of a yeller!

[cowboy 1]
sing songs to p-ss the evenings

[cowboy 2]
and because it soothes the herd
so they won’t stampede

[cowboy 1]
unless mike sings lead

[cowboy mike]
and shouts every single word!

[cowboy 1/2]
mike!

[cowboy mike]
sorry!

[all]
cause we’re cowboys, real live cowboys

[cowboy 1]
not like the ones you’ve seen on your tv

[cowboy 2]
we’ve never held up banks at all

[cowboy 1]
we’re poorly paid

[cowboy mike]
and kind of small

[all]
if you still wanna be a cowboy

[cowboy 1]
stick with me

on your horse for eighteen hours

[cowboy mike]
and that saddle sore’s a curse

[cowboy 1]
then you feed your horse

[cowboy 2]
and yourself, of course

[cowboy mike]
though beans just make it worse

[cowboy 1]
then you’re back driving cattle

[cowboy 2]
that’s what being a cowboy means

[cowboy 1]
moving those beasts from west to east

[cowboy mike]
sorry, it’s the beans!

[all]
cause we’re cowboys, real live cowboys

[cowboy 1]
not like the ones you’ve seen in the movies

[cowboy 2]
we’re not big hunks like that john wayne

[cowboy 1]
cause our horses would complain

[all]
if you still wanna be a cowboy

[cowboy 1]
join us please

you should be aware
we have some customs that are strange

[cowboy 2]
like saying howdy and not h-llo
when you’re out here on the range

[cowboy mike]
never touch a cowboy’s hat

[cowboy 1]
never ride his horse

[cowboy mike]
so what if i took your old mare?

[cowboy 1]
well, i’d shoot you, of course

[cowboy mike]
fair enough

[all]
cowboys, real live cowboys

[cowboy 1]
not like the ones you see on silver screens

[cowboy 2]
we didn’t go out starting fights

[cowboy 1]
cause unions fought for our rights
now mike will do a solo thanks to beans!

[cowboy mike]
how was that?

[cowboy 1/2]
it stunk!

[cowboy 1]
and now, my friends, i fear
that the end is drawing near

[all]
cause we only ruled the range for twenty years!

- horrible histories lyrics

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