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horse bitch - captain james lyrics

his name was captain james
he was a handsome cowboy from sp+ce
bounty hunting sp+ce demons
was the name of his game
and his adventures had brought to him money and fame
but there was one sp+ce demon that he could never track

his name was sp+ce demon roy
he peddled sp+ce heroin
he was covered in sp+ce tattoos
and had two heads on his shoulders
and it was said that he couldn’t have been older than 22

captain james got a lead
from a sp+ce hooker named eileen
they had a sp+ce arrangement
sp+ce s+x for sp+ce information
in their regular sp+ce meeting
that occurred every sp+ce tuesday
and roy the sp+ce demon was living
on a big purple planet
just outside a galaxy that i cannot name here

so captain james left the sp+ce brothel
and left the doors swinging
he loaded his sp+ce gun
and he put on his sp+ce helmet
and then he strapped into his sp+ce car
he was certain that roy
would be no longer with us
by late tomorrow night
he rolled into a galaxy
light years away
there were planets real close
he aimed the nose of his ship
at the purple planet
where it was said that roy lived
and when he landed by blue palm trees
not a fear was blown into him

there was a house at the cul+de+sac
at the end of the sp+ce suburbs
the yard was well kept
and the sprinklers were on
and captain james double checked
the coordinates on his sp+ce watch
and as the suns sank like cherries melting onto stars
captain james cautiously crept in through the back door

and he heard the tv on
as he crept through the tiled kitchen
and as he looked through the door frame
there roy was cuddled up
next to a beautiful young human
girl under a blanket
and as the screen hit their faces
captain james had never seen
two people so content
just to be sitting together
then captain james remembered
this was the evil demon he was after
so he entered the room
and he drew his weapon
the two turned their heads
and jumped back like little spiders
and then he told the young girl to move
so that he could put an end
to the sp+ce heroin epidemic
that plagues all the galaxies
but she did not listen
and just held him tightly in her arms

and with tears coming out of her eyes
she spoke with tremors in her voice
“he doesn’t peddle sp+ce heroin
he peddles sp+ce acid
and either way
can’t you see? he’s a beautiful person”
james said, “don’t let him put his demon spells
on your mind ’cause its young
and there’s things you don’t know
now if you don’t move
i’ll have to shoot both
for i’ve chased this demon for years of my life”
but her rosy face didn’t flinch
she just held tighter onto him
so captain james c+cked his sp+ce gun
and he held it up
and said i’ll give you one more chance
to stand up and leave

but she showed no sign of any second thoughts
so he just aimed his gun
at both of their hearts
and blood trickled down
the back of the couch
and they both laid back dead
like two little mice
keeping each other warm
in the first chilling air of autumn
after summer flees

captain james rolled into a sp+ce diner
and he ordered sp+ce coffee and pancakes
he lit up a sp+ce cigarette
and he read the sp+ce paper
and he just held the ring that he took
from roy the sp+ce demon’s finger

he’s sp+cing out
he’s sp+cing out

- horse bitch lyrics

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