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howard ashman & alan menken - poor unfortunate souls (demo) lyrics

my dear, sweet child. that’s what i live for. it’s what i do
to help poor unfortunate merfolk like yourself
poor souls with no one else to turn to

i admit that in the past i’ve been a nasty
they weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch
but you’ll find that nowadays
i’ve mended all my ways
repented, seen the light, and made a switch
true? yes
and i fortunately know a little magic
it’s a talent that i always have possessed
and here lately, please don’t laugh
i use it on bеhalf
of the miserable, thе lonely, and depressed pa+the+tic

poor unfortunate souls
in pain, in need
this one longing to be thinner
that one wants to get the girl
and do i help them?
yes, indeed
those poor unfortunate souls
so sad, so true
they come flocking to my cauldron
crying, “spells, ursula, please!”
and i help them!
yes i do
now it’s happened once or twice
someone couldn’t pay the price
and i’m afraid i had to rake ’em ‘cross the coals
yes i’ve had the odd complaint
but on the whole i’ve been a saint
to those poor unfortunate souls

(spoken)
here’s the deal
i’ll make you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days, got that? three days
now listen, this is important, before the sun sets on the third day you’ve got to get dear old princey to fall in love with ya, specifically he’s got to kiss you. not just any kiss, a special kiss. the kiss of true love and if he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day you’ll remain human permanently, if he doesn’t, you’ll turn back into a mermaid and you’ll belong to me

(spoken)
no ariel, don’t be stupid, don’t listen to her she’ll+

(spoken)
have we got a deal?

(spoken)
if i become human, i’ll never be with my father or sisters again

(spoken)
that’s right, but you’ll have your man. life’s full of tough choices, isn’t it?

c’mon i know you need a little magic, and magic is my special dett+á+jour
don’t just stand there looking sick
would i kid you? play a trick? like i told you i don’t do that anymore
so, i think you oughta take my little bargain
yes, i think ya oughta make my little deal. sure its hard to leave your life, but you could be a prince’s wife!
why don’t cha let me take that dream and make it real

c’mon you poor unfortunate soul
poor child, poor fish
aren’t you glad you brought your problem to a lady you can trust
won’t cha let me, grant your wish

you, poor unfortunate soul
poor switch, poor dear
aren’t you lucky that i’m ready with a potion and a plan
aren’t you glad you came and asked if i can help you and i can
when a mermaid comes to ursula, she always gets her man
you poor unfortunate soul

(spoken)
atta girl oh, i almost forgot
we haven’t discussed the subject of payment. you know you can’t get something for nothing

(spoken)
but i don’t have any+

(spoken)
i’m not asking much, just a token really, a trifle! you’ll never even miss it
what i want from you is + your voice
(spoken)
my voice?

(spoken)
you got it sweetcakes, no more talking, singing, zip

(spoken)
but without my voice, how can i+

you’ll have your looks, your pretty face
and don’t underestimate the importance of body language, ha!

the men up there don’t like a lot of blabber
they think a girl who gossips is a bore!
yes on land it’s much prefered for ladies not to say a word
and after all dear, what is idle babble for?
come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
true gentlemen avoid it when they can
but they dote and swoon and fawn
on a lady who’s withdrawn
it’s she who holds her tongue who get’s a man

you, you, you poor unfortunate soul
go ahead!
make your choice!
i’m a very busy woman and i haven’t got all day
it won’t cost much
just your voice!
you poor unfortunate soul
it’s sad but true
if you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
you’ve got the pay the toll
take a gulp and take a breath
and go ahead and sign the scroll
flotsam, jetsam, now i’ve got her, boys
the boss is on a roll
this poor unfortunate soul

- howard ashman alan menken lyrics

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