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howard stern & the dust brothers - tortured man lyrics

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radio star
a hit on tv
my life is on film
yet it sucks being me

[sample]
shut up! sit down!

my life’s a wreck
i’m bored with sex
i’ve got a big nose
and a skinny neck

i can’t sing
i can’t dance
i get money to talk
about the junk in my underpants

[refrain]
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i can’t believe i am who i am
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i can’t believe i am who i am

[sample]
i told you not to be stupid, you moron

[sample]
ooh! ooh! ooh!

[sample]
baba booey

[sample]
oh, that’s good

[sample]
*laughter*

when teri hatcher
was on my show
she came onto me
i was tempted to go
heather locklear
she thinks i’m great
i would be my life
i could get her on the first date

courtney love, madonna
and sharon stone
i could get them all together
and make each one moan
tammy, racquel
[?]
demi
any demi?

[refrain]
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i can’t believe i am who i am

i [?] farts
i’m immature
they say i’m great
but i’m not sure
my whole life sucks
each minute blows
this gangly body
this monstrous nose
this droopy -ss
this tiny shween
no wonder i get on the air
and act so mean

i wish my life
was much more simple
i’ve got a wookie
the size of a pimple

[refrain]
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i can’t believe i am who i am
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i can’t believe i am who i am

i’m a tortured man

[sample]
i think so

i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man
i’m a tortured man

[sample]
i’m just thinking for a minute. should i trade half my money for ten times as much sex? it’s an equation from hell

- howard stern the dust brothers lyrics

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