hxggxrd - handbook for the recently deceased lyrics
godd+mn
life’s too short, man
i’d gotten to a point where breathin was a chore and
i dreamed
of sleeping on the ocean floor
kickin it with a group of siphonophores
i’d rather be a connoisseur
of bioluminescent eyesores
jet+lagged, freak flag, kid in a candy store
i summoned candyman through a candyland gameboard
took out his hook, then he brought my innards outdoors
now i’m a poltergeist
sitting in a waiting room
listening to edelweiss
i guess it’s nice
but in purgatory the coffee’s iced
and souvigners are ridiculously overpriced
pardon me imma dip
from this pit stop
slip out the back door
aftеr i pick the lock
try to stop me
i’ll f+ckin give you a karatе chop
spiritual slip n slide, i’m all about the belly flop
i’m always doing stupid sh+t
like opening a door before i know what stands behind it
this time was no different
rushed through the door ala supermarket sweep
into pinhead’s h+llish courtesy
it ain’t hyperbole when i say my herbal tea was hot as h+ll
the water in my cup was taken from satan’s well
and when i down it i’m in it
cuz when the devil’s in my oolonglonglong
i do wrongwrong
red velvet viscera
caked on a chainsaw
tempted
to see what’s inside of stretch armstrong
feeling kinda hungry steal a f+ck ton of tag+a+longs
f+ckin with the neighbors all night playing ding dong ditch
imo, h+ll was kinda kitsch
coffee so bad homies wake up with the sh+ts
found another door and decided i’d split
imma spectral nomad all about hoofin it
not gonna lie
heaven was hilarious
hannibal lecter was there actin’ all gregarious
chariots flyin round
powered by some pegasusus
sizzling steak house
slinging quick grits
the highlight of my trip
watching conservatives frown
when they found out jesus was brown
oh my god
sh+t was too d+mn funny
but enough was enough
so i dapped up the easter bunny
hopped on a flying monkey
flew downtown
stopped by a coffee shop
best hands down
drowned in a cup of ethereal phenomenon
and that’s when i woke up on my front lawn
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