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hyperveridical - i could face it lyrics

[verse 1]
here we are
or are we
am i here alone
cause i know you’re not there
near or far
it’s hard to tell the difference sometimes
cause it doesn’t make a difference
when you’re dead
and i don’t mean that
in the literal sense
when there is so much
fear inside your head
so you run to anyone and anything
that makеs the world feel less
like hеll, i’m dead
in that sense
insensate takes me again
+…

[chorus]
and i could face it
i could face it

[verse 2]
there i am
i know i’m not here
in this memory i play on repeat
i can see myself alone
past or future longings
it’s hard to choose which one i recommend
every former joy’s corrupted
by a present understanding
in the future lies
both hope and dread
due to the former sentiment
this moment k!lls me
+…
[chorus]
and i could face it
i could face it
i could face this reality but
(the door is open)
i know (just step through)

[bridge]
i could face it
i could face it
i have fallen down below
where i never thought i’d go
am i the only one who thinks like this
inside this madness
where i know you’ve been
growing distant
i know you’ve been growing distant
and now so am i

no
i don’t like this
i wanna fight this
wanna find freedom
and try to face these memories again
but the pain sets in again
how can i win against myself
control’s weaker than a newborn child
in a chokehold
the insensate’s all that i know
silensville’s my home
you say i know the way out
but i don’t
no
not that way
there’s gotta be something else
god, i know i’ve strayed
far from your path
but you haven’t exactly made it easy
i can’t even tell your voice apart
from my enemy
you gave me a dream
saying i was going to h+ll
does that ring a bell?
so don’t tell me to walk
through the f+cking door
when you know i can’t take it anymore
and i don’t like this
cause you know d+mn well
that i don’t really want to fight this
(i don’t want to fight this)
but my grip on the lies is a tight fist
hanging at the ends
of both of my arms
swinging by my sides
back and forth, as the forces at play
namely, the enforcements
keep telling me to run away
and i endorse it
and what the h+ll do you want from me anyway
can you just answer and leave me alone
because i know that i’m wrong
and i know you’re my only hope
but you know i can’t face this alone
and i know that you’re right
but i can’t quite change my mind just yet
will you stay on the line
cause i might take quite some time
to decide if i can trust you
but please, don’t leave me behind
(i will always stay)
and i don’t like this
cause i swore to myself
i would never have to fight this
(i don’t want to have to fight this)
but i’ve run to denial every night since
every night since i was nine
hanging on to the light
like an endless thread
i can’t see the end of it
this dread, these questions
filling my head
and i know i could face it
i could face it
i could face it
but i know d+mn well
there’s a reason
you can’t just answer
and leave me to believe
these false memories are my reality
it’s insanity
i hate that you’re not mad at me
for the calamity that’s happening
your mercy is a burden
i’m a red herring fallacy
i’m telling you all of this
just to hide the fact
i know
no
no
(i know)
i’ve been fighting evil
never looking towards hope
cause i know where
the light you’ve shown will lead me
living in the past, cause i’m scared to go
to the place where what i love is gone
this love’s all wrong
and i could face it
(the door is open)
i could face it
i know (just step through)
(i know)
if i face it (you’re so afraid)
one last (so afraid)
time again (cause what you see)
will you find me there? (looks a lot like h+ll)

- hyperveridical lyrics

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