hotel books – changes consume me lyrics
it’s a terrible statement but i never let it leave my side. that sickening realization that i’m done with this fight. moments kneeling on the bedroom floor sickened by the ent-ty i had absorbed, no more. i would not let the self-scrutinizing endeavor endure a precipice a monologue questioning my every motive. my disaster stricken heart feeling broken, my emotions quoted spilling out of a broken vase taking the place of what was once your emotion.
diluted with tears, an open book scribbled with fears engraved pools of ink i’m vocally shook; and i’m tired of telling myself that it’s gonna change.
taken by the spectacular lie that existence can end. faulse-hoods predicted my sinners dictated my every decision.
an exit of sorts seemed logical, cause i thought i could silence this breath. but contrary to my mindset, i circ-mvented my threats to silence the demons singing songs in my head; whispering in my ear, that ending it all is a safe bet.
comforting me as i try to manipulate my end. those moments when i decided i couldn’t handle this anymore! pins and needles infected every sensation i had left!
feeling like this love i had once found had been torn open and left broken in the cold -that the seams holding it together ripped open and my flesh tore open with that is i pray that my breathing would stop.
and as i held those staining memories, i held on so tightly; remembering what life used to mean. selfishly ready to embrace the fact that i am weak!
but then i called to you, and i hoped someone would find me; and i found you, and i had hoped someone would call me! cause i’m listening to these echoes of my own voice leaving damage in the cold, as i feel i have finally grown to the point where i can snap. a point of knowing i could never go back…
and it’s in the moments i felt most alone. that i told myself no one was there for me; and little did i know, love with sitting right beside me, i just wasn’t listening. at this point in my life i don’t know many things, but i can promise you this – you are loved completely.
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