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ian kamau - #freestylefridays (17-04-2020) lyrics

dear beloved unknown, i’m awake in the dark
still this hate in my heart, that i’ve been breaking a part
so i don’t know, if growing old is growing up
sober but i’m still on this roller coaster, showing up
with both palms open, and two feet in the fire
chest short of breath, and a heart bleeding desire
i choose, to be crying the blues, while i’m trying to prove
that i wasn’t confused, those who know were amused
but i was broke and abused, i was broken and bruised
i was closed to the truth, you were open to use
everything that i had, but all i had was my dad
all i had was my ma, went to war with the pad
i went mad with the pen, virgil quote like a tag
follow fashion those “friends”
who would pass like a fad … at least that’s how i felt
winder in the city like a heart i couldn’t melt
a pity that nothing could help, all of the cards i was delt
when some days went to waste, i would just tighten my belt
in fact trimmed fat, to keep my mind intact
and my spine still straight, like a line in black
but my father’s getting older now, stuck inside a rut
i can’t hold him up, but open a cut
an that’s the same blood, in my vein
he and i we are one and the same, both running away
from those who toss interlocking words
who too often are talking like mocking birds
squawking, they’ll laugh as we walk in the court
already popping a cork like our life is a sport
and i’m not trying to be rude but on their tongue there’s a fork
and i’m not talking bout food but all the flesh they abort
are the lives we could live with a little support
and the cushion of time like a child builds a fort
so i’ve been grinding my t++th and i’ve been trying to breathe
‘cause i was dying for love while i was fighting for peace
and everything i believe no longer watching the throne
appeased my l+st to achieve
dearest beloved unknown

- ian kamau lyrics

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