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ianto taylor - growing nowhere lyrics

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how in the h-ll do i make this decision
everyday i feel stuck on the same mission
i can’t get out or afford admission
or tuition
self medicated
and self educated
i learn from mistakes
like my mom i will make it
cities vacated
now i’m sitting stagnant
i feel trapped
i can’t overstate it

i’m drained tapped
insane
i dap
with the devil dance with the lady in my lap
and we revel in the fact that we treat each other like we’re cr-p

romanticise pollution
its the new solution
alone in my revolution
my oppressors absolution
will be my clean slate
for the only person that’s putting me down is my mental state
and i
wanna relocate
yeah
from my job from my city from my friends from my home
i’ve got rent
i’ve got food
i’ve got bed
still i’m rude
and i can’t sleep
so when does the happiness kick in

they booked me for suicidal thoughts
in a gown
few people making sure i don’t k!ll myself friends sorry that i’m down
dad glad that he called
me scared that they’re right
too scared to get the diagnosis they say the chance that i’m bipolar is more than slight

when i fell asleep that night
and had my dream
i judged you for your death
but now i can see
just how alone alone feels
didn’t know it till i knew which homes real
turns out its with you
but we still exist in our broken home
this ain’t living

empty
bottles tempt me
i don’t want to relapse
but i’m tense and its the only way i relax
its in my genes cash in my genes i don’t care about the sin tax
slurring words me can’t hear you give f-cks bout the syntax

how in the h-ll do i make this decision
everyday i feel stuck on the same mission
i can’t get out or afford admission
or tuition
self medicated
and self educated
i learn from mistakes
like my mom i will make it
cities vacated
now i’m sitting stagnant
i feel trapped
i can’t overstate it

where am i going
where am i heading
am i going anywhere
or is this just a deadend
deafened
to your pleas for me to mature
i’m just a kid
young a teen and insecure

i’m drained tapped
insane
i dap
with the devil dance with the lady in my lap
and we revel in the fact that we treat each other like we’re cr-p

- ianto taylor lyrics

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