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ibattle - wize guy vs. ted lyrics

[round 1: wize guy]
this sh+t is dope + big up to lexx for real
women say you have the s+x appeal of an electric eel
this depressed virgin’s a dead person facing a vet wordsmith
ted’s worthless
went on the ‘net searchin’ for ted’s verses
couldn’t find a battle, even when i typed “ted vs.”
you’re no star online
you’re really hard to find and hardly rhyme
your bars to mine are r+t+rded, guy
you weren’t smart to try
it’s mr. t+e+d
sleepin’ through your battles like stevie p, f+ckin’ z+z+z
i already own ted + on dvd
you gettin’ bodied today, i don’t need a glock on the waist
insert gun bar, copy and paste
kool+aid man, i bust through the wall of your place
with chronic to blaze, just so i can cough in your face
i’m snappin’, i’m vicious
got the gift rappin’ like christmas
i just wanted to battle some b+tch on the best app in the business
before this chapter is finished and i’m back to the clinics
thanks to panic and sickness, this war machine is quarantine
spending indoors for weeks, stocked up on corn and beans
it’s been a boring week + thank god for p+rn and weed
there’s a mismatch, lexx + what you playin’, homie?
you’re comparing a steak that’s kobe to straight baloney
i’ll take the trophy
when you rap, you’re a stage below me
when i rap, flame emojis!
i’ll destroy this hater
i got the pointy razors and toys wit’ lasers
this flamboyant+natured boy’s in danger
your mom goes door+to+door annoying neighbors
performing favors for toilet paper to store for later!
sorry, player

[round 1: ted]
it’s imperial collective, my name is ted
i mean, you was the man once…
before all the d+mn drugs, it was someone that kotd could build a brand from
but the deeper your eyes sank, the quicker your plans shrunk
now you’re 30 years old at a frat party without a keg to stand on
you showed up at a frat party in 2010…and just never left
kotd dropped you as their poster boy
you shoulda been better dressed
they gave you the cold shoulder ‘cause you kept wearing a denim vest
you’re a frat boy massage therapist that was doomed to fail
‘cause you kept playing beer pong, while clients laid there wit’ a cucumber facial
boy, i’ll start swingin’ the metal like a newton’s cradle
and put a hole where your face is like a masseuse’s table
you on some “american pie and think you’d get it to rhyme” type of funny
i’m on some polo best sh+t, and i ain’t playin’ rugby
he’d get shook when an animal come out, but this ain’t jumanji
get rocked and have the kid see ghosts like ‘ye and cudi
aye, wait a second…
you and your girl are both bottom+tier battle rappers, and that is actually really cute
but it sounds like something that no one would wanna see
y’all should headline on a league called “quarantine”
i mean, the way you forced her to join the wrcs just seems excessive
but the way you framed it to her as a secret wedding is at least impressive
he like, “babe, i’m gonna get you this sweet ring and a free reception”
i mean, f+ck wize guy!
and his brief moment in the limelight
you only calgary’s hottest spinoff of grind time ‘cause you look f+ckin’ dope in some 9fives
i mean, i’ll pick apart his inner voice like sigmund freud
you were only ever in battle rap to fill a void
everything i do’s a hit like the kid laroi
ted

- ibattle lyrics

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