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icp - mad professor lyrics

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he he he
(knock knock)
oh sh-t he’s here
hi
‘uhh how ya doing?
is this the right place for that furniture ahh’
yeah sure is come on in
‘pretty nice place here you got here cobwebs are a nice touch
so that’s the couch eh?’
yeah we got some um take a look at the upholstry right there
‘that’s pretty f-cking nice i haven’t seen
whoa you all right there’
excuse me real upholstry
‘i ain’t seen nothing like that since sh-t like back in the’…clunk
m-th-rf-cka!
you want my couch?!
you m-th-f-cka!
i need your m-th-rf-cking brain!
you can’t have my couch!
what the f-ck you thinkin’?!
now come here you big fat m-th- f-cka get on the table!

i was never popular this i’ll admit, f-ck school
school never liked me, cool
all the kids would always beat me till i’m half dead
make fun of the size of my forehead
but that sh-t never bothered me
see momma and mother they owned a lot of property
they had a science lab in the bas-m-nt and that’s where my free time
…well all my time was spent
i made a mouse with a chicken head it clucked three times
cluck cluck cluck, then it was dead
i made a lot of things cool
like a frog with a turkey neck(gobble gobble gobble) it was the sh-t, yeah!
but i’m still lonely i need a homey
so i collected limbs and made me a zombie
i could have made a girlie friend
but f-ck that i got my girlie right here(masturbation and moaning sounds)
yeah!

you can call me mad professor
i will make a friend for me
you can call me mad professor
we will rule eternity

‘so this is like where you live?’
that’s right why you don’t like it?
‘i mean oh my god it’s dirty
do you like’- thud
hehe shut up b-tch!
gimme your tippie toes!

i used some many body parts it was crazy
i killed a whole bunch of m-th-f-cka’s like, what eighty?
they all chipped in on my special friend
everything helps even if you got a finger to lend, come on!
i hear the other children playing outside
“keep it down you little b-tches i’ll skin your f-cking hides”
careful! this part’s wack(what?)
somehow i gotta attach this nut sack(eh!)
sh-t! f-ck! i’m sawing off an elbow
looking at the meter my quazar in the low(what?!)
or better yet look out the f-cking window(oh)
i see a storm coming it’s all most time to roll
screw the head on come on, come on
it’s the thuggish ruggish bone
ok it’s time hit the switch turn it up a hertz
f-ck! sh-t, didn’t work

you can call me mad professor
i will make a friend for me
you can call me mad professor
we will rule eternity

hey
‘hey you call for a wrecka?’
sure did come on in
‘i got the truck running outside i’m gonna go ahead’
thud
‘oww m-th-f-cka what you’d hit me with a f-cking frying pan or sumthing?
what the f-ck’
thud
what the f-ck bro?
you crazy m-th-rf-cka oww that sh-t hurts’
(violent j is in pursuit)
thud
come here!
thud
‘i’m gonna f-ck you up!’
get back here!
‘he’s trying to kill me!’
thud

it wasn’t always easy(h-ll nah!) let me tell ya
but f-ck that (err!) cause i ain’t no failure(yeah!)
i put the sh-t with the veins and stuff with that wait a minute
(fart sound)
you hear that?
yeah!
it’s alive(wooo), i just gotta wake it up
hand me that rock n rye
pour it in the cup
give it to his -ss wait hold up pause
i ain’t cleanin’ his draws man f-ck that!
get him set, get him ready it’s all most time
paint his ugly -ss face up almost like mine
i see him twitching i’m on a roll
he can help me tell the whole world about the carnival(wooo!)
turn the hertz all the way up for this sh-t
and just wait for that (come on come come on come on) lightning bolt to hit
did it work? you make the call!
sh-ggy?
“what up y’all?!”
(triumphant shouts) i’m alive, i’m alive!

you can call me mad professor
i will make a friend for me
you can call me mad professor
we will rule eternity
you can call me mad professor
i will make a friend for me
you can call me mad professor
we will rule eternity
you can call me mad professor
i will make a friend for me
you can call me mad professor
we will rule eternity
we will rule eternity
we will rule eternity
we will rule eternity
we will rule eternity



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