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iggykad - don't know how to say it lyrics

[intro]
every time i hit the beat, it’s for my mum that im tryin
workin hard like kinda often, imma make it where it’s mine
we were helpless by design, we couldn’t climb, the sh+t was hard
we’re tryna go up higher, never mind the happily ever after
movin from flats, houses, apartments
she could never get a break, specially when i saw the cartilage
panicking at work, phone dropping, now needs another one
problem is the money, ain’t no way to afford it, store bought it

[verse 1]
alcatel in my blazer pocket, “teased” every so often
but that sh+t was unimportant to me, they’d just leave me scoffin
then came 2018, wishin for coffin, i’d never drop it
wait for erin on the bus and asked what’s wrong when she doesn’t
we were really like family, yeah that goes
for harry, elliott, aaron, suyog, i miss you the most
but our state of life was difficult, and when the opportunity came
we picked up everythin i had and left my childhood place

[verse 2]
leavin the lane, time for a new life, new changes
new language, new people, but i was such a stubborn f+ck
that no+one wanted to be around me, so i’d run out of luck
sh+t made me bitter, so i was typin and tappin on my stories
talkin about “locals f+ck outta here, you’re all so f+ckin boring!”
embarrassing myself and not acknowledging it
even my girlfriend tried to tell me i should stop with that sh+t
alas, i didn’t, slowly, my brain thought of callin it quits, that is
[verse 3]
with puttin effort into makin any friends
but then i repeated 9th grade, that sh+t straight opened my eyelids
now i really had people that felt kind
even thought my mind, wanted to turn, a blind eye
yeah, even though they all showed ideas of camaraderie
i was bein attacked my brain, it isn’t hard to see
why that was happening, i can tell you quite shortly
i’d been declined for so long, i felt i didn’t deserve it
so when i say one thing and mean another, ain’t an excuse
it’s no use stayin quiet about it, let me tell you the truth
i just don’t ever think that i deserved to be friends with you
so when you say sh+t i find wrong, or if i find the words rude
i don’t say sh+t, cus i’ve forced myself into the position
where i’m always seen as the villain, it’s almost like a tradition
i swear that i’m so sorry, for givin you wrong ideas
it’s just, i don’t know, i can’t explain it…..sorry

[outro]

- iggykad lyrics

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