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illijam - tiny triggers lyrics

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[hook: jon hendershot & andrew east of alive in color]
n-body asked you to hit replay/
on my soul’s home videos i hate/
how i’m strapped to a movie theatre chair/
eyes held open; reliving
shame, pain, heartbreak i’m hoping you/
heal my heart, my chest gets tight and i lose my breath/
father heal my heart; before these tiny triggers remind me to death/

[verse 1: illijam]
i try to tiptoe
cuz
memories are light sleepers /
right from the getgo;
that mortar hit my minesweeper/
anywhere in this mine field, and anywhere in this mind field/
recollections detonate; this grief is all my mind feels/
there ain’t an anesthetic that can numb away my misery/
the ones i love the dearest cause my severest injuries/
i can’t lie, i’m not good at goodbyes/
and when i try, and when i don’t, i own this tortured mind/

[verse 2: illijam]
i wish we could wake up, somewhere down the line/
maybe it would seem like a bad dream, and everything would be fine/
and i wouldn’t ache and desolation would be replaced with brighter days/
and we’d be amazed there i go again daydreaming/
then i flashback and i rehash, every little good thing we had/
everyone sees i’m detached, 24/7 i relapse/
i loved you w/ all that i had, my misery tells me that’s true/
it’s agony how every scent, sight, & sound reminds me of you/
catch me spazzing under my breath, paroxysm on my face/
when i recall how i compromised; i gave my naked heart; now i feel betrayed/
i look in the mirror and i hate who i see, i feel so abandoned o god hear my plea/
i’m losing my way in the wake of this bomb that has left me bereaved/
and i try to pray, but i am feeling like n-body hearing my cries/
i hate holidays cuz all i play is reruns
in my mind/
i fear this will never get better, and i cannot hold out for much longer/
i’m shivering in this crater waiting for the next round of bombers’ trauma/

[outro 1: jon hendershot of alive in color]
be thou my vision, o lord of my heart;
naught be all else to me, save that thou art;
thou my best thought, by day or by night
waking or sleeping, thy presence my light

[outro 2: jon hendershot of alive in color]
be thou my vision, when everything’s dark/
strengthen my soul so i don’t disembark/
you are my highest joy; i’m a fool if i leave/
comfort my hurting heart & help me believe/



- illijam lyrics

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