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illu$trious - beyond illusion lyrics

(verse 1)
you don’t even know my true colours like some dinosaurs/
no one having faith in me like “watchu grinding for”/
things that used to bring me life now have me dying more/
the crowns never safe so watch out as i’m eying yours/
they sleeping on me, grieving on me, beefing on me, leaving on me/
demons got me, creeping on me, breathing on me, leaching on me/
greeting homies, bleeding for he, but all he ever did was leave on me/
and i’m only 15 years young so how come life isn’t ever easy on me/
started writing songs instead of death notes/
learned that life could changed because it’s not a set stone/
i’m p-ssed at love because every single frickin’ day she doubts/
so i’m crying all these nights wondering if she even cares about me/
parent mad at me because i’m in the studio day and night/
but i only do it because music makes it harder hating life/
she used to make me happy, he used to make me happy/
but now demons in my head have me asking what the h-ll is “happy”?/

(verse 2)
now these natives supporting me just because of my race/
people hating me because of the complexion of my face/
i’m so hungry at the moment, just give me a taste/
they said that they loved me so what’s with all of the hate?/
young kid, that’s done some dumb sh-t/
nothing turned to some one up sh-t/
graveyard shift, made hard hits/
stay guarded, cause i’ve made hard shifts/
sick of these guys saying that they got me/
because they joined right in when everybody mocked me/
can’t breath, can’t see, can’t eat but no matter what happens any time i still can’t leave/
staying trill and speaking of the things that made me/
because i come to learn i love music more than em loves haley/
i don’t need to be real to you cause i’m real to myself/
i only did this music so i can try to start healing myself/

(verse 3)
i’m about to tear my heart out because i hear them under floors/
i guess i never should have gave you sp-ce like an underscore/
i took some pills, you did the same/
except i woke up somewhat damaged and you didn’t wake up at all on the next day/
you called me crying and left a voicemail on my phone/
but, i was being selfish and had some plans of my own/
caught in the past while youtried to being me to the future/
and now because of that you’re not alive to see the future/
you did same as others and pulled the plug on yourself/
i guess i should’ve stopped being concerned about me and watched out for your health/
i’m sorry that i wasn’t there when everything faded into black/
so, i won’t be mad when you’re up there never watching my back/
and i can’t give up because of that promise that i made you/
and i think i owe it to you because i wasn’t there to save you/

- illutrious lyrics

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