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impractical jokers - look mommy, i'm a rockstar/ shut your face, grandma lyrics

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[intro (spoken)]

q: ladies and gentlemen… get on your feet. brace yourselves for the greatest live band you’ve ever seen…
murr: are you ready for senora lonza??

q: get out there, senora lonza!

joe: there’s so many drums…
sal: hey everybody, how you doing? alright, very cool. we’re, uh, very happy to be here… opening for the imagination dragons. imagination dragons? i got it wrong, imagine dragons, isn’t it?
joe: uh…
sal: alright
q: i put in your pants pocket a dedication for the set. open it up and read it
sal: so, uh, guys, i just wrote a very very special dedication, and i hope you guys appreciate it. the dedication goes like this: guys, we’d like to dedicate this out to the people… to the people of pittsburgh

murr: we’re in long island!

sal: they were the best audience we ever played for. we can already tell you guys aren’t gonna be nearly as good!
joe: you’re no pittsburgh
sal: we’re gonna play a few songs from our upcoming album… oh boy…
joe: this is… this is, uh, one of our favorites

[song 1: look mommy, i’m a rockstar]

sal:
when i was a boy
i was young
i was lookin’ bad
son of a gun
i said “look mommy, i’m a rockstar”

joe:
rockstar!

sal:
i said “look mommy, i’m a rockstar”
i said “look mommy, i’m a rockstar”
let’s go!

[intermission (spoken)]

murr: alright, the next song on our album is a capella
sal: next song from our album is a capella
murr: and the name of it is “shut your face, grandma”
sal: the name of it is “shut your face, grandma”

[song 2: shut your face, grandma]

joe:
bum, bum, bum, bum

sal:
she’s my grandma, she’s my grandma

sal and joe:
and she doesn’t shut her trap
she doesn’t shut her trap

sal:
i take it for five minutes
but after six i say…

sal and joe:
shut your face, grandma!
shut your god d-mn face!
shut your face, grandma!
shut your god d-mn face!

sal:
shut your face, grandma!

[intermission (spoken)]

dan reynolds: yell out “drum solo”
joe: drum solo! (joe plays badly on his drums)
dan reynolds: say it again!
joe: drum solo!
dan reynolds: start trying to do the worm!
sal: aw, f— me man. (sal gets down and does the worm on stage)
(joe starts pounding on his drums again)
joe: i got your back, buddy, i’m givin’ ya a beat!
dan reynolds: try to stage dive!
(sal stands up and hesitates, but eventually jumps into the crowd. n0body tries to catch him.)
joe: thank you and good night!



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