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in loving memory – finna smash lyrics

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i don’t think it’s wrong to want to feel powerful
like a force to be reckoned with
but how far will we go?
and who will we step on to get there?

i’ve been digging deep to find the roots that constrict my soul
in the trenches i’ll remain, as i wage war against myself
anguish marches onward

to make its way into my heart but nothing’s there
i’m letting go of doubts as they invade my brain
to hold on is too much to bare
it’s harder when you care

is it wrong to want to feel alive (feel alive)
if it means disserving to survive?
i’m directed by my circ-mstances
blown to bits by my second chances
i would rather live to bring the pain (bring the pain)
than be hurt by somebody’s mistakes
in the end it’s a curse, i’m either my worst enemy
or n0body’s friend

pain is not the measure of the man i am
rather it keeps my demons in resolve
when all i want is to know i’m strong
all i want is to know i’m strong

to make its way into my heart but nothing’s there
i’m letting go of doubts as they invade my brain
to hold on is too much to bare
it’s harder when you care

i would rather live to bring the pain (bring the pain)
than be hurt by somebody’s mistakes
in the end it’s a curse, i’m either my worst enemy
or n0body’s friend

for too long have i put others before myself
and if you’re not first, you’re last
i’d rather climb than get stepped on
and it’s a long way to the top

i’m young. i’m learning. with patience, i’m growing

i look back on darker days for semblance of
where i’ve been and where i’m going
these thoughts of turmoil would often
keep me up at night but at last
i can hope for a sunrise

it isn’t wrong to want to feel alive
after living this way for all this time
i never thought that i could take control
of a heart so cold
with all these pieces of myself i throw
into the fire without looking back, i know
i’m headed there to where i must go
and i’ll make it on my own
i’m a man today, i’ll stand my ground!
blegh~