iris bilinsky - the hellgiver, pt. 2 lyrics
[verse 1]
i walked my partner down to the bus stop
and they sighed and smiled at my stupid jokes
when i walked myself home from the bus stop
a car pulled over and rolled down the window
and this man said to me
“you better stop playing around down here
or someone’s gonna k!ll you”
he said to me like it was advice
two days after that i went to pride
and i don’t think that i have ever felt so safe outside
and you and i were dancing in the firelight
i tried to pinpoint what it was that i had felt that night
oh, wе were holding hands and n0body looked at us twicе
it was paradise
[verse 2]
i froze up, my dad used the same words
when he screamed, he said i was playing
when i finally had the courage to wear the clothes i’d always wanted
and they say it’s superficial
they missed the point, i am committal
i want you to see the best of me
i want you to see the best of me
and for that, there is some help i need
i need to go to therapy
and learn to talk about my grief
the trauma cycle is complete
i’ll always get the best of me
i’ll always get the best of me
[voice recording 1]
[deadname], look at yourself in the mirror right now. you’re wearing a dress. you said you’re an adult. you’re not, you’re playing. quit playing
[voice recording 2]
and at the same time, a cigarette? you use to light a campfire
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