it’s always sunny in philadelphia - reason/what are the rules? lyrics
[charlie, spoken]
what the h+ll is happening?
why are we black people?
[mac, spoken]
but only in our reflections
[charlie, spoken]
this is insane!
[dee, spoken]
are we in a dream? do we got, we got to, like, pinch ourselves or something?
[mac, spoken]
why is it daylight outside?
[frank, spoken]
how is this happening?
[dennis, spoken]
forget how. we’re past that. it is happening. it just is
[charlie]
give me one good reason, whoa+oa+oa+o
[dennis, spoken]
what are you doing?
[charlie]
give me one good reason
why we’re this way
[dennis, spoken]
why are you doing this?
[charlie]
i don’t have a reason, whoa+oa+oa+o
i don’t have a reason for a thing that’s happenеd today
[mac]
i wonder why we’re singing еvery word that we say
i wonder if we’re living out the wiz in some way
[dennis, spoken]
uh, oh, well, no, it’s not the wiz, because n0body switches bodies in the wiz. got to be something else. i mean, i think we’re experiencing something a little more like…
[dennis]
the hot chick
the change+up
[dennis, spoken]
here i go
[charlie]
vice versa
all of me
[dee]
like father, like son
[mac]
dating the enemy
[dennis]
a boy thing, a girl thing
[charlie]
13 on 30
[dee]
detention
[frank]
face/off
[dennis, spoken]
right. oh, actually, no, face/off wouldn’t work, because that’s a face+switching movie
[dee, spoken]
yeah, no, guys, i think we found ourselves in a quantum leap
[dennis, spoken]
hmm?
[frank, spoken]
what the h+ll’s a quantum leap?
[dee, spoken]
oh, a great show from the coke+fueled era of ’80s television where scott bakula would leap into other people’s bodies, but he didn’t know it unless he saw his reflection
[charlie]
these are not good reasons, whoa+oa+oa+o
now i’m just confused and i don’t know what the h+ll to say
[frank, spoken]
wow
[dee, spoken]
sh+t
[charlie, spoken]
yeah, i don’t know what that was
[mac, spoken]
that was super weird
[dennis, spoken]
okay, guys, i think i know what’s happening here. i think we’re in the respite of a musical, where people can get out the necessary information that doesn’t fit into rhyme form
[charlie, spoken]
clearly, yeah, that’s what’s happening
[dennis, spoken]
that’s what’s happening, right? so let’s talk fast be+before another song starts. okay, so…
[charlie, spoken]
okay, that’s a good idea
[dennis, spoken]
you know what the problem is? we don’t know the rules. and there’s no way we’re gonna figure this out until we figure out what the rules are
[dennis]
what are the rules?
[dennis, spoken]
oh, christ, i’m singing again
[dennis]
what are the rules?
when you’ve just turned black
and you can’t switch back
well, you got to go and find out the rules
[charlie, spoken]
wh… oh
[mac, spoken]
oh
[dee, spoken]
oh, my
[frank, spoken]
yeah, yeah
[charlie, spoken]
wow
[dennis, spoken]
holy sh+t, what have i done? um, okay, look, this is gonna keep happening, i think. all right, so let’s+let’s figure this out, soon. let’s split up, okay? y+you two, uh, go and try and find old black man
[dee, spoken]
mm…
[dennis, spoken]
i’m sorry… old man. just old man
[dee, spoken]
yeah. yeah
[dennis, spoken]
and, um, help him out, you know? do+do the quantum leap thing. see that thing through, in case it’s that. and the three of us, we’ll go out and, um, we’ll try to do the freaky friday thing… try to figure out whose bodies we switched with
[mac, spoken]
but are they gonna look like us, though?
[dennis, spoken]
i don’t know
[dennis]
what are the rules?
[the gang except dennis]
what are the rules?
[dennis]
what are the rules?
[the gang except dennis]
what are the rules?
[the gang]
when you just turned black
and you can’t switch back?
well, you got to go and find out the rules
[mac]
i think we’re in the wiz
[dennis, spoken]
don’t force the wiz thing
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