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itserikson - pain. lyrics

[intro]
yeah
yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah
hmm, hmm
hmm, hmm

[verse]
yeah
well, how can i start
it’s so bright right now
i got out of the dark
yeah, i’m finally laughing out loud
because my mind is so clear
i’m feeling great
man, i can’t explain
how sensational it is
to not see any warning signs
just smiles and hope
when i open up
the photo book of my past
seeing this dope little dude
just tryna care less about his fears
and do what the f+ck he likes
take a deep breath
and step out of the box
hoping that one day
he can get a grasp on his life
‘cause it’s always been rollercoaster
sometimes, even i have to be caught up
long story short
it’s all about choosing between
what i want and i need
putting aside the greed
or all the warnings
that i received and will receive
i greeted most of them
with open arms though
‘cause i was confident
that i can beat them
many times that i have triumphed
other times, i’ve been defeated
and beaten to the ground
thank god i got back up
and fought
never let no one tell me
that i cannot make it
yeah
and i’m still here
despite those days
when i felt like leaving
tryna find some meaning
in the things that are happening to me
tryna live the days
and love the people that are close to me
and i wanna say sorry
for the times when i failed at that
i admit that i can be
closed off and mean
but that’s cause
i’m so f+cking afraid
of opening up to anybody
and contaminate them
with this amazing mix
of depression, anxiety
negativity, and the fear of failing
my family, my loved ones, myself
i can’t be alone though
i need you, my daily dose of happiness
every time i wake up
i wanna see you laying right next to me
and greet me with your radiating smile
i beg you
please free me from my state of mind
and keep me from derailing
‘cause i’m breaking baby
yeah i’m fighting
with my thoughts on the daily
nose bleeding, broken arms
still, i’ll hold on to you my love
it sometimes hurts so f+cking much
but if i get to keep ya
all of that was worth it
yeah, i’m lucky that you’re here for me
i don’t deserve you
nor the love you give to me
but even if i manage to get better
i’d still be me
it’s so hard to accept
that whatever happens
i’ll be fighting with the pain
standing in front of the mirror
every minute of the day
repeating the same things
if you want love
you gon’ have to go through the pain
if you want love
you gon’ have to learn how to change
if you want trust
you gon’ have to give some away
if you want love
but i’ll keep on
i’ll keep on
even if sometimes
i feel like sh+t all day long
because when the night comes
and finally, i’ll get to see you again
my heart pumps
like a f+cking maniac
this sh+t wanna break out my chest
and every minute passed
is so beautiful and sad
at the same time
because i realize
that the night is gonna end
and you gon’ have to
get back to your job
i get back to mine
it’s so hard to spend time
without you on my side
still i have to get back into my mind
because i’m starting to find the
ingredients for overcoming
the demons i have
the only way to fix my head
is to stop examining
the thoughts that i have
try to find the time to laugh
enjoy life even when i’m by myself
blast some music
chill outside, light a cigarette
start the morning being thankful
for another beautiful day
and be ready for
another round with the pain
you feel sometimes up
and sometimes down
but what matters is that you get up
when you’re on the ground
the fight’s exhausting
there’s dark days
but the pain can help
if you don’t hide away
just let it heal
don’t worry ‘bout today
you’re gonna be okay
yeah, you’re gonna be okay
you’re gonna be okay
yeah

- itserikson lyrics

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