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ivor biggun - ivor biggun is my name (live) lyrics

w-nker! w-nker!

ivor biggun is my name
w-nking is my claim to fame
to hit the bathroom ceiling is my aim
a week ago last tuesday i got just above the window frame
if you look carefully you can see the stain
i’m going to w-nk until i paralyze my brain

“you don’t think i’m getting obsessed with all this
m-sturbation bit do you?
you don’t think i’m a man obsessed, do you?… you don’t
think there’s anything strange about me…”

i’m going to w-nk until my t-sticles burst into flames
until i yelp and scream with pain
i’m going to get a big piece of wood
a big lavatory door
i’m going to cut a hole out of it
and i’m going to stick my kn-b
through the big hole in the lavatory door
and read all the rude stuff that’s written on it and get
myself excited
and i’m going to ooh-ahh-ooh-ahh-ooh-ahh-ohh-ahh-ooh
even though i know it goes against the grain
until i feel all…right!

- ivor biggun lyrics

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