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ivor biggun - the winking caveman lyrics

down in the jungle, ten million years b.c.
was a big sweaty caveman in a coconut tree
he had two sticks and he said “it’s my conviction
i can make fire if i use a little friction”
he rubbed and he rubbed
then he started on his pud
he said “great gosh almighty
don’t that feel good”
’cause he was w-nkin’
’cause he was w-nkin’
he was w-nkin’, people, with a muscular grip
you put your hand on your hip and let your backbone
slip

goliath was a philistine, biggest ever seen
david was a short-a-se who came from golders green
goliath went walkin’, tripped over his c-ck
david went wallop with a bl–dy great lump of rock
and then he went and played his harp
and wrote a load of psalms
but that ain’t the reason why
he’s got such big strong arms
’cause he was w-nking
’cause he was w-nking
he was w-nking, people like they say in the song
you put your hand on your dong and it won’t take long

the five-knuckle shuffle is a wonderful creation
it’s a kn-b kn-b… kn-b kn-b… kn-b manipulation
you can do it in the morning or the middle of the night
and it can’t be wrong if it feels so right
when you’re w-nkin’
when you’re w-nkin’
w-nkin’, people like you bl–dy well should
put your hand on your pud and it feels so good

napoleon’s sweetheart empress josey-phene
had something she let him stick his bony part between
but when he took up w-nking he’d just turn out the
light
and say “sorry josey-phene, tonight is not the night”
he’d grab hold of his pl-nker and he’d commence to wack
it
and that’s why he stood like that
with his hand stuffed in his jacket
’cause he was w-nkin’
’cause he was w-nkin’
he was w-nkin’, people with a muscular grip
you put your hand on your hip and let your backbone
slip

’cause he was w-nkin’
w-nkin’

- ivor biggun lyrics

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