ivx - joanna lyrics
[verse]
transition
to a different me
in a different place
with a different mental
sayin’ different things
when i treat myself
everything but gentle
i had a couple songs
that i thought i liked
when i first made them
but the next morning
when i play it back
i f-cking hate them
gotta let go of my self-doubt and my self-hatred
i’m not an open book don’t read into me
or flip my pages
but you flip me off when i don’t comply
f-ck the world, i’ll say it louder
f-ck the world and f-ck the power
f-ck the norm, i made the alb-m
not normative, can’t quantify
when i put this sh-t on spotify
when i put this sh-t on everything
i wanna hear every single f-ckin’ voice sing
put the earbuds in, i’m flooding the brain
i’m self-taught, and i’m self-made
ivx, best remember the name
you’ll hear it again when i’m up on stage
i’m the one you hate, but you can’t escape
your jealousy got you in a cage
same one i was in in journal
but i learned from that, i don’t want it back
running faster than a running back
to escape my past, i’m done with that
i don’t want it back, i don’t want it back
i don’t want it back, i don’t want it back
aight’, listen
lonely days in pennsylvania
had a racecar bed but i can’t sleep
love my mom, like nothing else
all i had was her and all she had was me
fast forward ’bout 15 years
i’m still lucky that i made it here
i’m so lucky that i’m still alive
i had bad thoughts that i pushed away
hated myself in the 8th grade
so i changed myself in the 8th grade, back then
i was in a christian school
but the money drug talk was still the same
messed up my head, and only i’m to blame
but i’m better now than i ever was
adversity made me stronger than i thought i could ever be
[verse]
i’m haunted by the ghost of all my own regrets
i’m haunted by the things i never said and wish i would’ve said
i’m haunted by the things i said and never should have said
but nevertheless, i push on
hoping to have a better future
talking’ bout’ my pain is sad
but making songs is therapeutic
wonder where i’d be, if i had never started making music
prolly’ in the same place with a negative mental state
i hardly leave my room, i tell my family that i like it there
i do good at my college
but honestly, i just might be scared
of public places
other faces hate but they love to stare
watching my every move
everything i do
rooting for me to lose
hoping for me to lose
that’s why i love my parents cause’ they never left my side
and when i need someone to lean on
they’ve got shoulders down, and heads up
ready to listen, whenever i start b-tchin’
about the problems i face
the minor inconveniences feel like
more than a man can take
i’m burdened by my burdens and i
wear it all on my face
got baggy eyes that don’t disguise
the sleep that i lose when i think about who i am today
[skit]
[search group leader:]
alright, everyone. it’s one h-ll of a sandstorm out here, so since we can’t see each other, we’re gonna call out to make sure we’re still in formation. everybody got that?
[group in unison:]
got it!
[leader:]
everybody here?
[group:]
here!
[leader:]
[everybody here?
[group, quieter:]
here!
{mc:]
he – no, no, nonono… wait up! wait up!
[leader, inaudible:]
everybody here?
[mc:]
no… no… sh-t!
-sigh-
why…? why me? god, why?! why me?! sh-t…
why, am i always alone?
[???]
you’re not
[hook]
lemme’ get some of that stimulant
i’ve tried, but i can’t get rid of it
i’ll die ‘fore i take yo’ medicine
i’ll cry, i’m sad like i never been
lemme’ get some of that stimulant
i’ve tried, but i can’t get rid of it
i’ll die ‘fore i take yo’ medicine
i’ll cry, i’m sad like i never been
lemme’ get some of that stimulant
i’ve tried, but i can’t get rid of it
i’ll die ‘fore i take yo’ medicine
i’ll cry, i’m sad like i never been
lemme’ get some of that stimulant
i’ve tried, but i can’t get rid of it
i’ll die ‘fore i take yo’ medicine
i’ll cry, i’m sad like i never been
[verse]
movin’ at high speeds
wonder why n-body like me
man i been k!llin’ it high key
think i’m the best and i might be
reality check
i been making music
but in actuality gotten no checks
i ain’t done enough yet
so no, i can’t brag on my wealth
but i don’t really need to, i don’t really –
independent mothaf-cka’ tryna build a dream
tryna be a lantern but i’m livin’ in the shadows
rippin’ into instrumentals made without a team
leaving all my compet-tion hanging in the gallows
i don’t wanna say it again
but everybody knows i did it all on my own
and all from home
school and music like a tightrope
and i might fall from 50 stories
every tape is another story
but these three here are all connected
you heard right man this the trilogy
don’t get yo’ brain affected
gather round kids, listen close
don’t let this go neglected
type-a sh-t like blink and you’ll miss it
but a miss one thing my brain rejected
next tape is the big finale
such a gift – buon natalie
comin’ fast like a motor rally
3 for 3 that’s the only tally
so lemme’ just close with this
i know the next couple months might bore ya’
but when the wait is over
man the wait is worth it
just wait for euphoria
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