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j diddle - the process lyrics

it’s always hard to think of what to rhyme about
just need something to vent all my emotions out
pen to a pad is my deadly habit
it hurts to say but i’m an addict
i feel like a prisoner inside my own home
the warden to keep me in is a microphone
telling me to come up with something new
but i haven’t got a clue
of the words i needa spew
lost friends, girls i loved, so what i gotta loose
should i rhyme bout the girl that broke my heart
should i rhyme bout the girl that made my heart drop from the start
cause she f-cking beautiful
treats me fine which isn’t usual
actions sweep off her feet, gotta be dutiful
should i be, talking about people in the middle east
dying from disease
have shrapnel k!ll them in the streets
never too sure of what to talk about, maybe i i’ve lost it
never too sure if i need to keep the mic or drop it
should i give in and be like everyone else when they rhyme
talk about hoes, gold, and the ice
but i wear clothes that hardly look nice
this pen and pad feel like a ball and chain
this was the art i used to escape my pain
yet i’m right back where i started again
always pushing myself to my best potential
not saying sh-t just bars on an instrumental
it’s cool here and there but not for every song
thinking should i make it short, should i make it long
should i try i sing, or should i go in strong
should i drop the mic and work on the flow
should i stop writing so much and take it slow
should i actually get out and be somebody
should i be like everyone having fun and party
but i’m pacing around asking myself these f-cking questions
my head is aching and i’m heavy stressin’
write a couple lines, crumple up the paper and trash it
got something in me, but i just can’t hack it
haven’t noticed gotta lot pain in me and this is how i mask it
trying to write something that will give me chills
let me try and pop a couple adderall pills
i feel everything and my emotions come up
even with this, i’m having trouble to sum up
exactly whats on my mind this time
can’t think of exactly what to rhyme
f-ck it just write a couple sh-tty lines
slap em together, pick a random beat
record for hours, f-ck getting something to eat
keep recording and writing til i fall asleep
listen what i got finished
realize it’s wack, control, alt, deleted
i’m getting p-ssed, i’m all off the next day
friend come up to me, like i never seen you this way
but i mute it out, just kicking it to different beats
hoping the words will hit me, and i’ll feel the beat
maybe i’ll find the perfect words while i’m in this f-cking seat
just holding onto a pencil, staring at a blank paper
that only has two lines a couple hours later
these songs are paintings, the words are colors on my palette
holy sh-t, the words are coming to me i think i have it
writing this track not with ink, but with my soul
finish recording the sh-t sounds dope
let me show you exactly how it goes!

- j diddle lyrics

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