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j-easy - talking to god lyrics

hey god
it’s me again
i’ve been tryin to reach you for days did you not get my messages
or did i not pray enough and reach a certain percentage
i’ve been doing what i need to do so i can change
guess me and you are not on the same page
people say that you don’t judge but how could you when you put them in these situations trapped inside thit cage
that where i draw the line because you don’t know my ways
no matter what anyone says you’ve put my thru some of my darkest days
even when things are looking up you decide to set it up in a blaze
how can i put faith in a man when i look in the mirror and can’t have faith with the man in front of me
but see that’s where you and i don’t agree but i don’t give a d+mn
i believe in you but i can’t put my life in some imaginary hands
bet you don’t remember the night i was driving to that hospital
every second we got closer my heart got smaller little by little
when she walked in that building it’s like my world got little
i won’t continue the story cause ill get choked up little
but you knew what was up
sucker punched me in gut for what
what did i do to get this clean cut
i had my whole life planned out
had the military plans were 20 then i was out
later on before i knew it you planned on taking that from me too what was that about
i’m not questioning you i just need answers
if you can’t give them to me that’s gonna hurt
i try my best to put others first but the way you treat me feels like it’s a curse
what do you want me to do
i’m asking you to rebirth me
make me what you want me to be
cause it seems what i want just is not right
i put up this fight get blinded and loose my sight
these thought of suicide only comes at night
that’s i lay awake at night in sweats i’m terrified
so man to man how is this gonna be
can i work on my life and be set free
if you know what i love don’t take from me
can god almighty see with his all seeing eyes
you gave me a brain to make me wise
i’m going insane so please make it smaller in size
i’m telling you god if i could i would cut my ties
everyone telling me to put my faith in you when it’s all lies
i figure them out before so now your plan is compromised
you’re mesmerized then you quickly get something else organized
making hard to win at life you make me paralyzed
thinking that this isn’t what the bible advertised
you could’ve helped me in my time of need but now i’m traumatized
now i’m ready to leave this earth and take off in flight
i don’t care what anybody says what you’re doing isn’t right
i try to keep the peace to avoid issues
but that causes a battle in my head just wish you knew d+mn i need a tissue
why can’t you see i’m struggling just take all of it with you
i’ve had it with everything i’m suffocating i’m turning blue
looking down on this earth and see what i’m going through
you really make me question why i even have this tattoo
and when i say the things i do people take me as that fool
i know everything has a reason that happens in my life
so i guess i’m going to take the gamble and roll the dice
i’m not okay i’m not my self i’m drained
i’m asking you to calm my mind calm my brain
please heal my heart and take all my worries away
cause i really feel like i don’t wanna live another day
give me my life back that i deserve
i even tried to give being a soldier first
seems like that wasn’t enough so that’s what hurts
i want to shout and scream but don’t want to burst
hate revealing this side cause i’m at my worst
it’s sucks i know my worth but i help for free
things change so now i’m charging a fee
if you yourself won’t let me be imma use my brain you gave me to think for my self and understand the reality
i’ll shoot back like a rubber band i promise that you’ll see
so god when i’m expressing my feelings please don’t take it the wrong way
sometimes it’s hard to articulate what i say
life is so dull all i see is gray
but hey i haven’t given up not even a day
i feel like i’ve accomplished so much but i’m only half way
but my problem is when i get on a track and want to talk i don’t know what to say
i’ll go way off beat get fl+stered now i gotta pay
and it sucks cuz i can’t control what’s on my tray
everything just piles up like a mountain of hey
so back to me i wanna be free
let me be
i wanna be at peace drifting off at sea
thank you for listen but i know you dont agree
all i’m sayin and want the answer for is
why me

- j easy lyrics

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