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j en' d - last letter lyrics

i start this letter, saying i wish i had been better, i have no secrets but i have many regrets, as if i had lamentations in a million heads
what does it matter who cares, i’ve been having many nightmares, are there demons under my bed or on the stairs?
i’m watching dark and luminous shadows, f-ck it also i´ve been having a lot of bad-thoughts
i´m tired of being afraid to go to sleep and suffer from a sleep paralysis, very deep i see sh-ts that even doesn´t exist, and dreams that tell me to cut my own wrist
i´m tired of hearing whispers, wake up and not being able to move any of my f-cking fingers, maybe all is just my mind or actually i´m going insane, f-ck it i have and unknown pain, i´m tired of just expressing complaint after complaint
why am i feeling like this, right now i´m having no peace, plus everyday life is losing its meaning, f-ck it the slump is winning, and despair is singing
even my family hates me, they don´t show it but i feel their contempt, i want to be accepted, i´m doing my best attempt, all my life is full of broken dreams, living in this way, what the f-ck it means?
chorus
reminding comes remorse, all my life i was the worst, this gun so close increase my pulse i’m writing my last words and i’m losing my d-mn force

all my life i´ve tried to be the cool kid, but they just call me bullsh-t
and i don’t have a self-steem problem, i only have a lot of things and i don´t know how to solve them, i feel totally alone, plus in this home only exist an isolation storm
i got friends but they don’t know what it really happends, i only think about a million of ends, i´m tired of dreaming about the same girl, f-ck it i know i can´t get her back to my world, she´s already happy, she´s having fun at her life´s party
i can´t steal her joy, i just have to accept that i am only a stupid boy, d-mn it´s hard to be gloomy, i don´t want to be a nuisance so please excuse me
but i´ve been treated like cr-p, considered as scr-p, and it´s more difficult to be following the dream of rap, i feel lower than sh-t, i´m losing the life´s sense bit by bit
i pretend to do a lot of things, but i can´t get them any way, maybe i wasn´t born with wings, maybe i can never fly, that’s why it´s better to finally say goodbay

chorus
reminding comes remorse, all my life i was the worst, this gun so close increase my pulse i’m writing my last words and i’m losing my d-mn force

lately i´ve been feeling empty, and i becoming so unfriendly, i don´t like to be like this, but my soul is totally freeze
i´m beginning to hate myself, god look at me, i´m begging for help, i try to be positive but everytime i breathe i got a relapse, because i realize about the facts, i feel the lonliness, f-ck it i´m feeling the emptyness
my soul is getting more hole, right now i have lost every f-cking goal, i ask to myself, why should i keep living?
everyday something inside me is dying and all my hope is leaving, and the world is losing its decency, now all these mo´f-ckers are acting frenzy
f-ck ´em all and f-ck the world, maybe i don´t belong here, music makes me strong, but why am i feeling so wrong?
f-ck it i can´t take it anymore, life is a dirty wh0r-, please forgive me by everything i´m going to do my lord, i can´t see to no-one, i´m taking the f-cking shotgun, maybe you´ll miss me when i finally have gone

chorus
reminding comes remorse, all my life i was the worst, this gun so close increase my pulse i’m writing my last words and i’m losing my d-mn force

- j en d lyrics

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