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j. ikenna - x lyrics

[verse]
my only wish is to be young again.
to stay up till six o’clock to see the sun rise again.
beaming through the window pane,
no sign or a pinch of pain,
5″4 with a smile unstained,
seven with a mind untainted…
feels like the world is spinning much faster.
and “once upon a time” is everything that i am after.
but it seems the author’s inking my life even faster.
i just hope i’ll get to read it all before the chapter…
closes…
i miss the past more than any man can understand,
and wish the watch my grandpa bought could grip the time and turn the hands
back to the days when i couldn’t feel the gloom.
seemed the world was great.
or, at least, i had -ssumed.
my mother was in perfect shape, my father was a step away,
and everywhere i turned, i could see a person’s smile for days.
things that amaze me the most i remember the least.
like the thanksgiving we had and how it felt like a feast.
even though it was just me, my aunt, and my mother,
in truth, it felt so much better with just us together.
then, in 2011, grandma was put on the roster.
that was a piece of heaven mixed with a little nolstagia.
and that’s a line i will never take back.
as for moments, i won’t forget that.
cause it reminded me how much i missed you all.
you’re the reason i stand tall and why i’ve made it this far,
and i pray that you know that i don’t forgot about you at all.
not my mother, my auntie, my siblings nor my father too.
i’m trying to become a son you can place your pride upon.
as for past arguments: bye, gone, we’re bygones.
summer time flights,
winter night fights,
doesn’t change, whether you were wrong or you were right:
i’ve been blessed to have a father that’s like you and that cares.
all that anger and dispair didn’t come out of thin air.
you’re just trying to -ssure that i make it in this world,
cause you’ve seen a couple lives spur into turmoil.
plus it’s hard being a single father that’s almost on his own.
three children under one roof, another that’s barely grown.
altogether and more is why you have my respect.
but when i look back at it all, it forces me to reflect,
on the feeling of missing my little brother grow.
leaving a tiny voice to return as it’s grown.
was something that had almost brought a tear to my eyes.
it wasn’t till that moment that i had realized,
that i haven’t been much of a big brother to him.
as for the rest of the siblings, the same goes to them.
but how can i be a theo to rudy, rudy and rudy,
when rudy carries half of the dna of theo’s family?
but how can i complain when my life isn’t insanity?
memories i’m trying to retain; others out trying to maintain.
i mean, one of my best friends is fighting to keep the lights on,
but his life is a python, squeezing everything out of him,
and i hope that he makes it, i swear this world’s for the taking,
if you just give it some time and apply a little patience.
then i know that you’ll make…
and it’s crazy,
seems like we were born about a week ago.
like these clocks have been sprinting for the olympic gold.
just yesterday, i was meeting my aunt for the first time,
fore my dad and i moved to a new house for the first time,
while my brothers and sister ran around the old apartment,
as my mother became a nurse – registered department.
all in all, even with the pain, we made it through the flames.
i bear that on my name, as a symbol never to be stained
so, in turn, i turn to give thanks to all of these people:
friends, family, those who crossed paths, those who were crossed out.
confined by time’s rule and given no tools to betray it,
has rose from dust this small jewel that all of you have created.
that’s stated because all of you will always be a part of me,
pardon me if i forget to say you’re worth weight in diamonds, so
if the king’s ransom is said not to be inside of me,
obviously, somebody who’s scarred, bless god, is lying to
you, me, us, we, and all of our memories.
from south padre beaches to podcasts at carnegie.
i’m talking about “carrot juice.” i’m talking about “pikachu.”
i’m talking about inside stuff that an outsider never knew.
the moments that can never be erased nor replaced.
may be gone without a trace but once i find where it’s placed,
i swear to god i’ll break the case.
i’m sorry if i’m rambling on, i’m trying to give a taste of my thanks
so i’ll say:
i don’t know where i’m heading, but i’m enjoying the ride.
if i can keep these people with me, i will ride till i die.
if i die as i ride, and it isn’t as expected,
i’ll accept it,
i was given a life and got to live it.
vivid.
and that’s more than most people can even say.
so with that being said, before my head is to lay,
i shall pray for the people that give me reason to breathe.
plus gave me my every breathe.
i give you this piece of me
as a child trapped in an adult body, forever growing.
three clocks remain on his person,
sees none of them ever slowing.
daily trips down memory ln. while taking future’s cab.
time is the toll, but he prays he’ll get it back.
but he is just a boy within a body of a man.
who lives for the moment, and, yet, fails to understand:
hours can’t be lengthed,
minutes can’t be shortened,
and every second should be cherished, as a moment, in your mind
and these are just the thoughts…

- j ikenna lyrics

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