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jacksfilms - royalty free christmas songs 7 lyrics

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[song 1: kermit returns!]
[intro + spoken]
[kermit]
alright, boys and girls, eh, today we’re gonna++ ew! why’re you all dressed up like little doctors and sh+t?

[student]
uh, mr. kermit, it’s because of, uh, coro+ co+ co+ coro+ covo+ cono+

[kermit, overlapping]
co+ co+ coro+ co+

[student]
cornovavirus

[kermit]
oh, you dumb, dumb kids. looks like uncle kermy’s gonna gave to teach you a life lesson! alright, shut up

[chorus]

[kermit]
covid’s a hoax
no, covid’s not real
people die every day
at least that’s how i feel
no, i don’t respect those who choose to wear masks
[student]
but we wear them to save lives!

[kermit]
whoops! i didn’t ask
la la la la la la
over the rainbow and
la la la+

[outro]
[kermit]
sing along, you p+ssies!
[kermit begins coughing]

[song 2: uncle uh+oh]
[intro + spoken]
[jack duh glass]
merry christmas, boys!

[all except duh glass]
merry christmas!

[chaq duglass]
hey, if you guys told me last yеar that i’d be spending christmas on a zoom call, i’d be likе: “what the heck is zoom?”

[all laugh]
[jacked ugh lass]
um, stupid question, but n0body gave uncle uh+oh the zoom link, right?

[duh glass]
no, no, no, no. no

[chaq]
no, i did not

[jak d’ouglass]
i might have…

[chaq]
no! no, you didn’t!

[duh glass]
dude! why?!

[chorus]
[uncle uh+oh]
trump won by a lot
investigate the deep state
reptiles rule the world
look into wayfair
bill gates will microchip ya
5g hurts my brain
i don’t trust the vaccines
obama was born on mars
[outro]
[uncle uh+oh]
see you boys next year!

[song 3: how to make a candy cane c+cktail]
one shot of white godvia
one shot, vanilla rum
one shot of creme de menthe
(rumple minze is also fun)
chill until it’s nice and cold
garnish with a candy cane
stalk your more successful ex
enjoy your fancy drink!

[song 4: a quarantined qwistmas]
stuck inside
nothin’ sadder
browsing tiktok’s
getting fatter

nah, i fear
that this’ll turn
to my new routine
ah, santa
won’t you bring me that vaccine?

[song 5: don’t buy a ps5]
[all]
don’t buy a ps5
there’s only like three games
wait for the developers
to figure out the controller
and don’t buy a ps5

[falsetto]
the only games i can even name
are a remaster of an 11+year+old game
there’s a title that’s just glorified dlc
and a game that looks like it launched with the ps3

[all]
don’t buy a ps5
wait for the pro or slim
the library’s so tiny
who cares if it’s new and shiny
just don’t buy a ps5

[song 6: inflatables are tacky]
goin’ round the neighborhood
shootin’ all inflatables
i love it when my wife lets me buy more guns

[song 7: shrek 5 part 2]
[verse 1]
another year has come and gone
somehow, we’re still alive
how can the whole world carry on
with no news of shrek 5?

[chorus]
we were promised long ago
but movie progress moves so slow
i cannot sleep, eat, drink, oh no
i need my big green man

four films just isn’t enough
i’m not that strong, i’m not that tough
here’s a pic of shrek in the buff
dreamworks, what is the plan?

[outro]
you could’ve saved this wretched year
with any shrek 5 news
instead, you made a sequel to
the motherf+cking croods

shame on you

- jacksfilms lyrics

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