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jacob, the first son - short girl slander lyrics

[verse 1]
i don’t mess with short girls
told the homie put the beat in 5/8
but my ex was 5’3”
that is just
that is just
that is just beyond me
drinking water, motha +ugh+ dasani
i need brain, imma zombie
or when i think about it prolly donald trump
pump it up
i’m an average joe in a navy blue b+tton up
and it’s plush
shawty something sweet, she petite
she a b+ttercup
powerpuff
give her compliments
and you’ll see just how she bubble up
blossom love
hold on cuz
stop tripping when i tell you where i’m from
talking minnesota (forreal?)
you dead ass?
like a possum bum
i was on some other ish
weren’t ready
took me back to lеvel one
but wherе’s the fun…
if you never fail, take an l
what’s beginners luck
you know what
i might need a second, but just know i ain’t no runner up
i run it up, lettuce up
talking bout the bread, but you all buns
argue like it’s tennis (what?)
no paint said, so it’s all love
and hold on bruh with the ride
bring a five, then go buckle up
oh you said it’s live
i might glide to your place with my knuckles up
and i had to gut, all the fat i couldn’t stomach like tummy tuck
snakes turn to weeds in the grass with the smoke when they in the cut
said you run with k!llers huh… (forreal?)
oh whale, get ya blubber up
had to take the top of the whip
like a fist, that’a an uppercut
thinking you a one of one
you ain’t it, but come tag along
what did i forget? (what did i?)
wait a minute, let me get my slander on
all these short girls think they small height comes with a big advantage
girl you 5’2, even with a stool
still couldn’t reach ya standards
i would tell you grow up…
but i see your growth is stunted dawg
some of y’all
need to settle down and be humble like ya mother dawg
men ain’t the problem love
oh you mad?
look she tried it y’all
word to kevin samuels
before you die alone, you should buy a dog
you might need a tylenol
ask me, you touched in the head
how 5’4” chasing after tall men with your wittle wegs? (with your small legs)
can you guess what she said?
“boy, don’t push me to the edge”
girl… i would push you off a cliff
nah wait, ain’t that just ya bed
and with all due disrespect
who being rude boo?
you should give thanks like a turkey leg
the truth is gonna hit
so take it to the chest like stethoscope
part with your heart
cause couldn’t care a l!ck, like an envelope
[monologue]
or i’m saying like a tootsie roll, you know
“how many l!cks does it get to the center” of ya self+centered ass (oooh)
because your center of gravity is literally closer to the ground (facts)
it means you’re more grounded…
but you know, no wonder you childish (sheesh)

[verse 2]
+yeah+
same guy but a different flow
and i’m coming live off screen
what you mean?
like a pick and roll
y’all going crazy
i’m gon’ cool like i’m piccolo
special beam cannon
gotta take a pic’ with an angle tho
and you ain’t my preference yo
shawty want the tippy tippy top
but she still using tippy toes
can’t even walk at my pace, by the way, if we take it slow
under 5’8”, no hate
sorry girl, you just gotta go
cause i don’t mess with short girls
(perfect)
[outro]
so yes, it is problematic to talk about people’s height
or to be, to be very obsessed about height
that thing is actually really bad
as much as i be like
”oh, my n++++ needs to be deaux deaux deaux dah”
i be joking, but like…
people actually take it serious and thats actually very, very scary because your king could literally be
not my king, their kings
could definitely be their height
me… that just not my portion because of how short i am
i’m already below average
so i can’t have a below average…

- jacob the first son lyrics

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