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jai jalah - suburban life lyrics

[produced by nor’ledges]

[verse 1]
i’m always on the outside looking in
i’m a wallflower without the friends
that just leaves the mental issues
where’s the perks?
can i begin again?
i think i’ll die before someone cares for me
why are they hating me?
why does everything i do seem so make believe?
everybody’s so h-ll bent on breaking me
cause i’ll never have any friends
i’ll never fit in
people don’t want you
unless you benefit them
and love is a lie
and karma’s a b-tch
the world is against me
i’m never gonna win
i’ll never change the world
cause i’m just asian
no place for me here
i’m tired of hating
myself and the world
i’m tired of patience

[chorus]
i’ve felt hate
i’ve felt pain
never felt love
but i’ve felt rain
i’m in the suburbs
where they can’t find me
cause they’re in the city
but that’s okay
that’s okay

(cause, like, they don’t really wanna find me… if you get what i’m saying)

[verse 2]
my dad left at 8
found out last month he got remarried
like ok, don’t invite me
you never even tried to find me
(i guess he didn’t care)
but that sh-t’s so behind me
(it’s still not fair)
why would you lie to me?
why would you cry for me?
why would you break my heart?
and why would you break mom’s heart?
you know i never really stood a chance
ah f-ck
i need a breather
not from the verse
but from the people
the voices in my head
aren’t peaceful
they’re k!lling me
they’re so real
my ident-ty is questioned
they’re always asking questions
i’m always f-cking stressing
and i never learn my lessons
i make so many mistakes
i’m subject to so much hate
they tell me i’ll never be great
(f-ck)
and nothing i do is worth it
i swear that i never work man
i’m wasting away
i’m cursed man
i need a break
my head’s hurting
(aaaah)
i’m a f-cking disgrace
have you heard he’s a nerd?
and he’s asian?
what more can i say?
(i’ll never make it)

[chorus]
i’ve felt hate
i’ve felt pain
never felt love
but i’ve felt rain
i’m in the suburbs
where they can’t find me
cause they’re in the city
but that’s okay
that’s okay
that’s okay

[bridge]
feel so much pain
i feel it
feel so much pain
i feel it

[verse 3]
awkwardness of an outcast
k!lled me
they say they want me
but they don’t want the real me
trying my best
but it’s hard to deal with feelings
i fell in love
but she didn’t really want me
i guess it’s ok
i guess i’m used to it
but i’m so lonely
tired of being abused
tired of being broken
i need a break
i wanna be normal
i don’t wanna be weird
no one’s at my funeral
no one’s at my funeral
no one’s gonna ever be there
i’ll always be scared
i don’t wanna play
but i wanna play
don’t wanna go outside
i miss yesterday
the world’s testing me

[outro]
i’ve felt hate
i’ve felt pain
never felt love
but i’ve felt rain
i’ve felt hate
i’ve felt pain
never felt love
but i’ve felt rain

i’ve felt rain
i’ve felt rain

it’s okay
it’s okay
to be in pain
it’s okay
it’s okay
don’t leave again
he left me again
they all left again

- jai jalah lyrics

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