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jake darus - lesson learned lyrics

had a lot of stress, had a lot of pain
always second guessing hoping it was gonna change
couldn’t talk to anyone about my situation
anxiety was choking me in every conversation
back in september, i was in a awful
place in my mind i was close to a debacle
finally the twenty first a friday had to change me
nearly in a he-rs- then a nurse came to wake me
she told me i overdosed i did out of suicide
you don’t understand the depression had me traumatized
i wanted to escape, run from the demons
that grabbed me and choked me whenever i was breathing
then they had to drive over to a mental hospital
couldn’t speak when all of this occurred i was inaudible
i never had the time to explain the truth
give the people my perspective and my point of view
4 months later i’m finishing a project
using the piano keys, giving you the context
really this is therapy, as i’m learning lessons
let me take you back to the height of my depression

i was with a so called friend
we would always smoke all the money i would spend
going through some things at the time didn’t know
why did everybody think of me as a joke?
back to the night had a bottle in my room
i would down it quick to get rid of the gloom
he wanted to smoke so we went to his car
anxiety was choking me right from the start
as we lit a spark felt a panic in my mind
i was freaking out going on a decline
felt a lot of pressure from the fam to be great
even though my father was the man i’d emulate
i know he’s addicted he loves to escape
i did so the same it was such a mistake
back to the friend he had left and disappeared
so i took a xanax to remove all my fears
suddenly the panic and the pressure went to cave
i called everybody cause i needed to be saved
called everybody didn’t know what to say
stuttering and slurring as coherence went away

first thing i learned how to cope
gotta talk to someone can’t go to the dope no
secondly i learned i’m an addict
addicted to attention so bad and it’s tragic
next thing i learned how to love myself
how to not put anything above myself
these are all the lessons that i had to learn
every second is a blessing and it must be earned

rollin’ into kettering i looked like i was dead
but i knew it’s time to make a better me instead
i was so confused and shocked by the events
the night was so intense all i wanted was a bed
so i could go to sleep but they needed my attention
“was your overdose a suicidal intention?”
suicide is something i’ve always rejected
it is not the answer to my clinical depression
finally they let me go to sleep but
every 15 minutes they would open the door
took away all my possessions see
if h-ll was a place it’s in a psychiatric ward
sucks that my family saw me at my lowest
i couldn’t just beat and defeat this opponent
changing my ways and i’m switching my focus
a breath everyday since that h-ll is a bonus

first thing i learned how to cope
gotta talk to someone can’t go to the dope no
secondly i learned i’m an addict
addicted to attention so bad and it’s tragic
next thing i learned how to love myself
how to not put anything above myself
these are just the lessons that i had to learn
every second is a blessing and it must be earned

- jake darus lyrics

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